Monday, 25 February 2008

Judgement Day

It's the moment you've ALL been waiting for, readers - it's competition winner announcement time! HOORAY!

I apologise for the delay, but I have been a bit sickly over the last few days (awwwwww!) However, it seems that my body is kicking the flu right in the plums, so I can now return to my blog-related duties. DOUBLE HOORAY!

The Digital Sickbag competition, Lights, Camera Blog!, drew a WHOPPING five entries from a fine selection of bloggers across the GLOBE. Well, America, mostly. A big thank you to each and every one of you!

To help me judge the five finalists, I have enlisted the help of respected art critic, historian and television pundit Brian Sewell, who will donate his vast expertise and critical nous, and help us select a winner. So, without further ado, here are the exhibits in our glorious gallery of wonder. Click the images to enlarge...

Entry #1: Chelle, The Offended Blogger.
'The Offended Blogger Movie'.

Entry #2: Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass

Entry #3: Bimmy the Bookish
'Frog Blog Dog Log'.

Entry #4: .45 Caliber
'The .45 Caliber Menace'.

Entry #5: Grumpus
'When Things Get Dark'.

Brian Sewell Says:

"Well, what a varied and diverse range of entries, I must say. Mmmmm. Chelle's entry makes good use of the film poster format, with a catchy tagline ('Offending Soon At A Theatre Near You') and a nice, clean, eye-catching design. I enjoy the way the colours pop out against the black background. It makes my willy hard.

"The entry entitled 'Bananas' is brilliantly cheeky, in letting the original poster do most of the work, due to the fortuitous coincidence that both the original film and the blog share the same name. Brazen, but it makes my balls firm up a great deal.

"Entry number three, by Bimmy, once again boasts a lovely tagline ('More Fun Than You Can Shake A Wet Dog At') and displays a playful sense of fun, much like myself when running naked through a leafy glen. Mmmmmm.

"The .45 Caliber entry is wonderfully designed, very sharp and slick, and makes superb use of that young lady from the pop charts, who I used to picture licking my scrotum whenever I masturbated, before she went all nuts and shit.

"The final entry, from Grumpus, fills me with a feeling of doom, for reasons I cannot place. The use of an Indiana Jones poster is inspired, especially with a new movie in the offing. A shrewd move, that makes semen dribble slowly from the tip of my penis."

Well, thank you Mr. Sewell. You've been most informative, and surprisingly filthy.


Brian Sewell and I had a heated discussion, then we wrestled naked for a bit, and then we came to the same conclusion: that the winner of the first ever Digital Sickbag contest is...


(Bit more drumroll)

(Just a bit more)

...Mr. .45 Caliber!

(Applause, cheers).

Congratulations, sir! 200 whole Entrecard Credits will be deposited into your off-shore bank account anytime soon, as well as permanent links on the Digital Sickbag sidebar of Glory, and on Lord Likely's blogroll to boot.

I am really, truly grateful to all of you who took the time to enter this daft little contest, and I genuinely did laugh out loud at the madness and inventiveness on display. You're all winners, in my book.

.45 Caliber is just MORE winner, that's all!

- Fanton.

Just in case any lawyers are reading, Mr. Brian Sewell did not endorse our contest in any way, shaper or form, nor did he actually take part in any judging or say anything dirty. It's all just a bit of fun.


.45 said...

My word. I can hardly believe my good fortune or looks. With such stiff competition, who would have thought a buttsaber could go so far? I do enjoy creative challenges, though, so the pleasure was all mine. The design even inspired me to craft a less boring logo that I've since used to spread my ad space in the eyes of innocent readers everywhere.

I will now happily boast of my winnings on my own site, after decompressing from my most recent post on movies.

Great job, everyone; and fun contest, Fanton.

Frog the Dog said...

Frogtastic effort .45 - Even the poster is scary - how bad will the movie be?? ERK.
I'll be behind the sofa if you need me....

Grumpus said...

In primary school i recall winning a poster contest for some kind of of “Beware of Strangers” campaign. It featured a boy running away from a sort of pedophile octopus-man driving a panel van while Mr. T looked on in concern, ready to intervene. So I’ve had my poster-contest-winning time in the sun. I concede victory gracefully to .45. You can only ride that wild horse once in a lifetime.

.45 said...

"…a boy running away from a sort of pedophile octopus-man driving a panel van while Mr. T looked on in concern."

This sounds like the awesomest poster ever. You HAVE to make it again.

Claire said...

Uh Oh Chelle must be pissed off that she didn't win!

She will be issuing a fatwa against you now.


.45 said...

"She will be issuing a fatwa against you now."

Just throw it on the pile with the hexes and restraining orders, CB.

Fanton said...

I'm glad you all enjoyed the stupid little contest I came up with. Who knows, maybe there'll be another one SOON.

Then again, maybe I'll forget and wind up watching Rick Moranis films all month.

Lord Andrew of Goulding said...

Mr. Fanton,

The PDF of The View From Bondi is now ready. However, I just have to set up a Paypal system to sell it, which may take a couple of days.

I'm going to give away a few freebies, though especially if I can get a review (hint, hint). Would you care to peruse my wares?

I describe the book as:

A literary Pulp Fiction
Sex In The City For Guys
A bruised romantic with a bulge in his pants
A philosophical tour de force
A bit of a wank
Often funny
Sometimes serious
A damn good read.



Fanton said...

Anything described as 'a bit of a wank' gets my vote!

Freebie-me-up, daddio.

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