Thursday 23 April 2009

Dragon And On

Hey, Sickbaggers!

As today is St. George's Day, I thought I'd share these two George vs Dragon strips I drew, fully intending to make an ongoing series out of the premise, but never actually following it through! Ah, well.

Enjoy!





Happy St. George's Day!

- Fanton.

Wednesday 8 April 2009

Rhymes With a Little Bit of Reason

Hey, Sickbaggers.

While I'm in a reflective mood, here are some poems what I have done writted. I hope you like!


Drunk on the Job


God must have been really drunk
On the day that He made me.
It would explain
Why I was made
so imperfectly.




Ups and Downs

There are three types of people, all in all,
There are those who rise, and those who fall.
Then there are those who don't move in the least,
Or as we like to call them: deceased.


Dead in Both Directions

I took a bullet for my darling,
Not long after we had split.
People thought that I was mad
But I wouldn't hear of it.
So what if she had left me,
So what if it tore me apart,
I'd have rather died there in her arms,
Then to have died inside her heart.


A Story, Just


Said the leopard to the shepherd, 'Where are your sheep today?'
Said the shepherd to the leopard, 'I really cannot say.'
Said the leopard to the shepherd, 'Have you lost them all?'
Said the shepherd to the leopard, 'No, I fear you'll eat them all.'
Said the leopard to the shepherd, 'You've got me, sir - well done!'
Then the shepherd shot the leopard with his great big gun.

The moral of this story folks, is animals are true,
But no one knows exactly what a man will really do.


Public Service Announcement

There is some information I must impart
When it comes to taking care of your heart.
Stop smoking, and avoid fatty foods,
Try to reduce your intake of booze.
And falling in love should not be dared,
For the damage it does can't be repaired.


What's In A Name?

The Duke of Wellington got the Wellington,
Leon Theremin got the theremin.
Laszlo Biro got the pen he had been owed,
While Samuel Morse got his very own code.
George Ferris got given a new Ferris wheel
But MC Hammer?
Got a record deal.


Go Bye-Bye

'I'm going now sweetheart,
'I'm going to go out of my mind.
Do not worry,
it shan't take long',
I said to the imaginary wife
I left behind.


Gifted

She liked the gift of flowers,
She liked the gift of chocs,
She liked the gift of earrings,
Wrapped up in a gift-box.

One day I gave her a gift,
I thought was really sweet
I gave her all of my love,
She asked for the receipt.


- Fanton.

Friday 3 April 2009

From Broken Heart to Broken Heart

Hey, Sickbaggers.

I know, I know. It's been another couple of months since I last posted, for which I apologise (if you even care, that is).

Trouble is, I've reeeeeeaaaally not felt like updating, as things have not been so peachy of late.

As you may recall, in that last post, I was unemployed, but I was happily plodding along, filled with ideas and scheme, and extolling the virtue of my wonderful girlfriend.

Well, I think God must have read that post, and deemed in His infinite wisdom that I was having far too much happiness, for some three weeks later my girlfriend left me.

She had her reasons, and assured me it wasn't me, but it hasn't made the split any less painful. I thought the world of her and would have done anything with my limited powers to make her happy...but now she's gone, and not a day goes by where I don't think of her, and miss her deeply. She is an incredible person, and still so very special and dear to me.

Added to this is the fact I'm still unemployed, despite filling enough more forms and applications to lay waste to an entire forest; and money is so tight that I've had to skip meals on occasion just to stretch my resources, and things are looking rather bleak and hopeless.

In short: everything's gone to shit. Big, steaming piles of it.

Then, yesterday I went to the hospital to have an ECG, as I've been having chest pains a lot lately. I've always had a bit of a dicky chest, but the twinges and palpitations have been increasing in frequency, so figured I should get it checked out.

The initial diagnosis seems to be that part of my heart has become enlarged, as it struggles to effectively pump blood around my body. The exact reasons why are still a mystery and further investigations are needed, but it's another piece of less-than-stellar news to absorb.

It seems my heart is quite literally broken.

So, yeah. That's why I haven't posted here of late.

I'm still somehow updating Lord Likely's site, though, albeit less frequently. It's quite tricky to pump out chuckles and guffaws when I feel so depressed, but I think I'm getting away with it. Hopefully his lordship's antics are still eliciting the odd chuckle.

I also apologise for his lordship's less frequent visits to his friend's websites and blogs. I do still keep up with most of them, but I'm finding plucking a witty response from the air to put in the comments a little hard, so forgive me.

I was buoyed by the generous response to his lordship's latest fund-raising attempt, though. I was genuinely penniless and so the generous donations made were really, truly appreciated. Thank you so much, you guys!

In other news, it looks like The Carrotty Kid's site will be disappearing soon. It's due for renewal now, but I set it up back when I had a job and money, and I simply cannot afford to pay to keep it going, which is a shame. I did have plans for the Kid, but as with everything, my plans do not seem to account for much!

Hopefully, normal service will be resumed somewhen soon, and there will be less whiney, self-pitying posts like this and more of the usual nonsense and nob gags.

In the meantime, here is a delightful comic from Pearls Before Swine for you to enjoy.


See ya.

- Fanton.

Friday 6 February 2009

Who? What? Where? How?

Hello, Sickbaggers!

I am not dead, nor nearly dead, nor dead but kept alive by a horrifying rage virus - to be honest, I have just not felt like writing for Digital Sickbag for a while, so didn't. Hey, it's a free country (unless you are reading this in a country which heavily infringes upon your civil liberties. In which case I doubt you will be reading this anyway.)

So: what has been going on since the last time I spewed forth into this blog? Well...

* I gained part-time, Christmas employment at HMV, which was good fun! Jimmy Carr came into our store twice, which would be impressive if it wasn't for the fact that I hate Jimmy Carr. But then...

* ...the job's contract ended, thus leaving me unemployed (again). Boooo! Back to watching Jeremy Kyle repeats I go!

* But! I have been quite productive with my new-found spare time. (Of course, it depends on your definition of 'productive).

* I drew THIS, for example! Hee-hee!



* I have also been updating Lord Likely, as well as setting him up a Facebook Group, a Twitter page and even a shop.

* I made these celebrity ghost t-shirts. Here is the ghost of Queen frontman, Freddie Mercury:



I also did Elvis, and Kurt Cobain. Why not buy one?

* I had many poos.

* I found myself getting Popmashed by the excellent Mike Whaite, in celebration of his relaunched Popmash website. Groovy!



* But, best of all, I have met an incredibly beautiful and completely lovely woman, and - rarer still - one who does not seem to be completely repulsed by me, despite me being so wretched. Hooray! She makes me very happy indeed, and is super-special to me already. Bless you, honey!

So yes. Great ups and downs, lefts and rights, but I have been keeping myself busy throughout. I am hoping to be able to bring you some more exciting news shortly, if everything goes according to plan...

Failing that, I shall just fill this blog with nob jokes again, then disappear for months on end.

See you soon!

- Fanton.

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