RIPdogs

What is it with lolcats?

I think I've well and truly missed the boat with this particular internet phenomenon, whereby people caption pictures of cats doing stuff, using nothing but 'lolspeak'.

These fuzzy bastards have been turning up all over the web, like some kind of whiskered virus. Hell, even The Observer recently declared icanhazcheeseburger - the site which coughs up these pictures like a cat would a furball - as being one of the 50 most powerful blogs on the web.

Christ on a donkey.

Therefore, I have decided that spending hours trying to write lengthy stories about drunken aristocrats and stupid celebrities is a complete and utter waste of my time, when I could be coining it in for doing nothing more than sticking a few words on a picture.

I have seen the future, and it is furry.

So, using the formula that acronym + animal = internet infamy, may I present to you my latest creation:

RIPdogs.

RIPdogs feature pictures of dead dogs, accompanied by two simple captions; one detailing the deceased dog's name and life-span, and one explaining how the canine came to be expired - with HILARIOUS results!

I tell you, it'll be the internet phenomenon to end all internet phenomenons.

BEHOLD!

Man, I can almost hear the thunder of approaching visitors and money-hungry advertisers.

Go on - try it yourself!

- Fanton.

RIPdog UPDATE: In less than 24 hours after launching this latest viral phenomenon, fresh RIPdogs have appeared on the frankly excellent neOnbubble site.

I salute Mark Hooper for his good work, and urge EVERYONE ELSE to now go forth and make their own RIPdogs, so that they may clog up the virtual super-highway like a ten-lane lorry spill. Get to it, my lovelies!


(DISCLAIMER: No dogs were actually harmed in the making of this web sensation. All images are actually of dogs sleeping, obtained from stock.xchang. So please do not mourn them. Yet.)

Judgement Day

It's the moment you've ALL been waiting for, readers - it's competition winner announcement time! HOORAY!

I apologise for the delay, but I have been a bit sickly over the last few days (awwwwww!) However, it seems that my body is kicking the flu right in the plums, so I can now return to my blog-related duties. DOUBLE HOORAY!

The Digital Sickbag competition, Lights, Camera Blog!, drew a WHOPPING five entries from a fine selection of bloggers across the GLOBE. Well, America, mostly. A big thank you to each and every one of you!

To help me judge the five finalists, I have enlisted the help of respected art critic, historian and television pundit Brian Sewell, who will donate his vast expertise and critical nous, and help us select a winner. So, without further ado, here are the exhibits in our glorious gallery of wonder. Click the images to enlarge...

Entry #1: Chelle, The Offended Blogger.
'The Offended Blogger Movie'.

Entry #2: Roufa Tav Gosou & Mimi Lass
'Banana'.

Entry #3: Bimmy the Bookish
'Frog Blog Dog Log'.

Entry #4: .45 Caliber
'The .45 Caliber Menace'.

Entry #5: Grumpus
'When Things Get Dark'.

Brian Sewell Says:

"Well, what a varied and diverse range of entries, I must say. Mmmmm. Chelle's entry makes good use of the film poster format, with a catchy tagline ('Offending Soon At A Theatre Near You') and a nice, clean, eye-catching design. I enjoy the way the colours pop out against the black background. It makes my willy hard.

"The entry entitled 'Bananas' is brilliantly cheeky, in letting the original poster do most of the work, due to the fortuitous coincidence that both the original film and the blog share the same name. Brazen, but it makes my balls firm up a great deal.

"Entry number three, by Bimmy, once again boasts a lovely tagline ('More Fun Than You Can Shake A Wet Dog At') and displays a playful sense of fun, much like myself when running naked through a leafy glen. Mmmmmm.

"The .45 Caliber entry is wonderfully designed, very sharp and slick, and makes superb use of that young lady from the pop charts, who I used to picture licking my scrotum whenever I masturbated, before she went all nuts and shit.

"The final entry, from Grumpus, fills me with a feeling of doom, for reasons I cannot place. The use of an Indiana Jones poster is inspired, especially with a new movie in the offing. A shrewd move, that makes semen dribble slowly from the tip of my penis."

Well, thank you Mr. Sewell. You've been most informative, and surprisingly filthy.

AND NOW...THE WINNER!

Brian Sewell and I had a heated discussion, then we wrestled naked for a bit, and then we came to the same conclusion: that the winner of the first ever Digital Sickbag contest is...

(Drumroll)

(Bit more drumroll)

(Just a bit more)

...Mr. .45 Caliber!

(Applause, cheers).

Congratulations, sir! 200 whole Entrecard Credits will be deposited into your off-shore bank account anytime soon, as well as permanent links on the Digital Sickbag sidebar of Glory, and on Lord Likely's blogroll to boot.

I am really, truly grateful to all of you who took the time to enter this daft little contest, and I genuinely did laugh out loud at the madness and inventiveness on display. You're all winners, in my book.

.45 Caliber is just MORE winner, that's all!

- Fanton.


Just in case any lawyers are reading, Mr. Brian Sewell did not endorse our contest in any way, shaper or form, nor did he actually take part in any judging or say anything dirty. It's all just a bit of fun.