tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50600304505840311082024-03-05T01:43:29.936-08:00Digital SickbagUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-80402326404838085822009-04-23T03:09:00.000-07:002009-04-23T03:28:42.447-07:00Dragon And On<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hey, Sickbaggers!</span><br /><br />As today is <span style="font-weight: bold;">St. George's Day</span>, I thought I'd share these two <span style="font-weight: bold;">George vs Dragon</span> strips I drew, fully intending to make an ongoing series out of the premise, but never actually following it through! Ah, well.<br /><br />Enjoy!<br /><br /><center><img src="http://www.gaup.co.uk/gvdfinalsk.jpg" /></center><br /><br /><center><img src="http://www.gaup.co.uk/gvd2finalsk.png" /></center><br /><br />Happy St. George's Day!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-91182015389795476272009-04-08T12:00:00.000-07:002009-04-08T17:27:24.845-07:00Rhymes With a Little Bit of Reason<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hey, Sickbaggers.</span><br /><br />While I'm in a <a href="http://digitalsickbag.blogspot.com/2009/04/from-broken-heart-to-broken-heart.html">reflective mood</a>, here are some poems what I have done writted. I hope you like!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9D7HQdeJs2K17u9LQhDj1O8ezaLeHzN3Z2Z9H-Tlaa6vPNPijBu4RDFpV9_Iq_5BsRIXRnoSCHfVXNI7yyet7JZl87RHpvt46ewgmJGlkg_nEvV2RWBgoHCNSMAXp9dbC1qoN4KxulAQ/s1600-h/gawd.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 168px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9D7HQdeJs2K17u9LQhDj1O8ezaLeHzN3Z2Z9H-Tlaa6vPNPijBu4RDFpV9_Iq_5BsRIXRnoSCHfVXNI7yyet7JZl87RHpvt46ewgmJGlkg_nEvV2RWBgoHCNSMAXp9dbC1qoN4KxulAQ/s200/gawd.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5322398618415938914" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Drunk on the Job</span><br /><br /><br />God must have been really drunk<br />On the day that He made me.<br />It would explain<br />Why I was made<br />so imperfectly.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ups and Downs<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span>There are three types of people, all in all,<br />There are those who rise, and those who fall.<br />Then there are those who don't move in the least,<br /><span>Or as we like to call them: deceased.</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br /><br />Dead in Both Directions<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span><span>I took a bullet for my darling,<br />Not long after we had split.<br />People thought that I was mad<br />But I wouldn't hear of it.<br />So what if she had left me,<br />So what if it tore me apart,<br />I'd have rather died there in her arms,<br />Then to have died inside her heart.<br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br /><br />A Story, Just</span><br /><br />Said the leopard to the shepherd, 'Where are your sheep today?'<br />Said the shepherd to the leopard, 'I really cannot say.'<br />Said the leopard to the shepherd, 'Have you lost them all?'<br />Said the shepherd to the leopard, 'No, I fear you'll eat them all.'<br />Said the leopard to the shepherd, 'You've got me, sir - well done!'<br />Then the shepherd shot the leopard with his great big gun.<br /><br />The moral of this story folks, is animals are true,<br />But no one knows exactly what a man will really do.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Public Service Announcement</span><br /><br />There is some information I must impart<br />When it comes to taking care of your heart.<br />Stop smoking, and avoid fatty foods,<br />Try to reduce your intake of booze.<br />And falling in love should not be dared,<br />For the damage it does can't be repaired.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">What's In A Name?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span>The Duke of Wellington got the Wellington,<br />Leon Theremin got the theremin.<br />Laszlo Biro got the pen he had been owed,<br />While Samuel Morse got his very own code.<br />George Ferris got given a new Ferris wheel<br />But MC Hammer?<br />Got a record deal.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Go Bye-Bye</span><br /><br />'I'm going now sweetheart,<br />'I'm going to go out of my mind.<br />Do not worry,<br />it shan't take long',<br />I said to the imaginary wife<br />I left behind.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Gifted</span><br /><br />She liked the gift of flowers,<br />She liked the gift of chocs,<br />She liked the gift of earrings,<br />Wrapped up in a gift-box.<br /><br />One day I gave her a gift,<br />I thought was really sweet<br />I gave her all of my love,<br />She asked for the receipt.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-34405395691691464472009-04-03T07:16:00.000-07:002009-04-03T09:11:12.969-07:00From Broken Heart to Broken Heart<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hey, Sickbaggers.</span><br /><br />I know, I know. It's been another couple of months since I last posted, for which I apologise (if you even care, that is).<br /><br />Trouble is, I've <span style="font-style: italic;">reeeeeeaaaally</span> not felt like updating, as things have not been so peachy of late.<br /><br />As you may recall, in that <a href="http://digitalsickbag.blogspot.com/2008/12/who-what-where-how.html">last post</a>, I was unemployed, but I was happily plodding along, filled with ideas and scheme, and extolling the virtue of my wonderful girlfriend.<br /><br />Well, I think <span style="font-weight: bold;">God</span> must have read that post, and deemed in His infinite wisdom that I was having far too much happiness, for some three weeks later my girlfriend left me.<br /><br />She had her reasons, and assured me it wasn't me, but it hasn't made the split any less painful. I thought the world of her and would have done anything with my limited powers to make her happy...but now she's gone, and not a day goes by where I don't think of her, and miss her deeply. She is an incredible person, and still so very special and dear to me.<br /><br />Added to this is the fact I'm still unemployed, despite filling enough more forms and applications to lay waste to an entire forest; and money is so tight that I've had to skip meals on occasion just to stretch my resources, and things are looking rather bleak and hopeless.<br /><br />In short: everything's gone to shit. Big, steaming piles of it.<br /><br />Then, yesterday I went to the hospital to have an <span style="font-weight: bold;">ECG</span>, as I've been having chest pains a lot lately. I've always had a bit of a dicky chest, but the twinges and palpitations have been increasing in frequency, so figured I should get it checked out.<br /><br />The initial diagnosis seems to be that part of my heart has become enlarged, as it struggles to effectively pump blood around my body. The exact reasons why are still a mystery and further investigations are needed, but it's another piece of less-than-stellar news to absorb.<br /><br />It seems my heart is quite literally broken.<br /><br />So, yeah. That's why I haven't posted here of late.<br /><br />I'm still somehow updating <a href="http://www.lordlikely.com/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lord Likely's</span></a> site, though, albeit less frequently. It's quite tricky to pump out chuckles and guffaws when I feel so depressed, but I think I'm getting away with it. Hopefully his lordship's antics are still eliciting the odd chuckle.<br /><br />I also apologise for his lordship's less frequent visits to his friend's websites and blogs. I do still keep up with most of them, but I'm finding plucking a witty response from the air to put in the comments a little hard, so forgive me.<br /><br />I was buoyed by the generous response to his <a href="http://www.lordlikely.com/archives/random-insertions/an-appeal-on-behalf-of-the-unappealing">lordship's latest fund-raising attempt</a>, though. I was genuinely penniless and so the generous donations made were really, truly appreciated. Thank you so much, you guys!<br /><br />In other news, it looks like <a href="http://www.thecarrottykid.co.uk/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Carrotty Kid's</span></a> site will be disappearing soon. It's due for renewal now, but I set it up back when I had a job and money, and I simply cannot afford to pay to keep it going, which is a shame. I did have plans for the Kid, but as with everything, my plans do not seem to account for much!<br /><br />Hopefully, normal service will be resumed somewhen soon, and there will be less whiney, self-pitying posts like this and more of the usual nonsense and nob gags.<br /><br />In the meantime, here is a delightful comic from <a href="http://comics.com/pearls_before_swine/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pearls Before Swine</span></a> for you to enjoy.<br /><br /><center><img src="http://www.gaup.co.uk/brknhrt1.png" /></center><br />See ya.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-379020308450905662009-02-06T08:42:00.000-08:002009-02-08T16:16:20.761-08:00Who? What? Where? How?<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello, Sickbaggers!</span><br /><br />I am not dead, nor nearly dead, nor dead but kept alive by a horrifying rage virus - to be honest, I have just not felt like writing for <span style="font-weight: bold;">Digital Sickbag</span> for a while, so didn't. Hey, it's a free country (unless you are reading this in a country which heavily infringes upon your civil liberties. In which case I doubt you will be reading this anyway.)<br /><br />So: what has been going on since the last time I spewed forth into this blog? Well...<br /><br />* I gained part-time, Christmas employment at <span style="font-weight: bold;">HMV</span>, which was good fun! <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jimmy Carr</span> came into our store twice, which would be impressive if it wasn't for the fact that I hate Jimmy Carr. But then...<br /><br />* ...the job's contract ended, thus leaving me unemployed (again). Boooo! Back to watching <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jeremy Kyle</span> repeats I go!<br /><br />* But! I have been quite productive with my new-found spare time. (Of course, it depends on your definition of 'productive).<br /><br />* I drew THIS, for example! Hee-hee!<br /><br /><center><img src="http://www.gaup.co.uk/gvdfinalsk.jpg" /></center><br /><br />* I have also been updating <a href="http://lordlikely.co.uk/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lord Likely</span></a>, as well as setting him up a <a href="http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=22949518896">Facebook Group</a>, a <a href="http://twitter.com/lordlikely">Twitter page</a> and even <a href="http://www.zazzle.co.uk/likely_industries*">a shop</a>.<br /><br />* I made these celebrity ghost t-shirts. Here is the ghost of <span style="font-weight: bold;">Queen</span> frontman, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Freddie Mercury</span>:<br /><br /><center><img src="http://www.gaup.co.uk/dedfredshirt.jpg" /></center><br /><br />I also did <span style="font-weight: bold;">Elvis</span>, and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Kurt Cobain</span>. Why not <a href="http://fanton.redbubble.com/sets/45964/works">buy one</a>?<br /><br />* I had many poos.<br /><br />* I found myself getting <span style="font-weight: bold;">Popmashed</span> by the excellent <a href="http://www.michaelwhaite.co.uk/">Mike Whaite</a>, in celebration of his relaunched <span style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://www.popmash.com/">Popmash</a></span> website. Groovy!<br /><br /><center><img src="http://www.gaup.co.uk/fantopera.jpg" /></center><br /><br />* But, best of all, I have met an <span style="font-style: italic;">incredibly</span> beautiful and completely lovely woman, and - rarer still - one who does not seem to be completely repulsed by me, despite me being so wretched. Hooray! She makes me very happy indeed, and is super-special to me already. Bless you, honey!<br /><br />So yes. Great ups and downs, lefts and rights, but I have been keeping myself busy throughout. I am hoping to be able to bring you some more exciting news shortly, if everything goes according to plan...<br /><br />Failing that, I shall just fill this blog with nob jokes again, then disappear for months on end.<br /><br />See you soon!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.<br /><br /></span><span><a href="http://twitter.com/Your_Pal_Fanton">Follow me on Twitter.</a> It may or may not be fun, I am not entirely sure.</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-35655948043260752172008-10-30T09:28:00.000-07:002008-10-30T10:06:04.203-07:00A New Tenant For The Tardis<span style="font-weight: bold;">I knew this time would come. It was as inevitable as the changing of the seasons, as sure as night follows day. But I didn't expect it to be this sudden.</span><br /><br />Yes, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sickbaggers</span>, I am of course referring to <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7698539.stm">the news</a> that <span style="font-weight: bold;">David Tennant</span> is leaving <span style="font-weight: bold;">Doctor Who</span>, ending his four year stint as the titular timelord in the <span style="font-weight: bold;">BBC's</span> long-running sci-fi series.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMF4zDdalCn0kubFGVyKF2OqIUnSBa6fmcVBRhoI_YqKk1y5pgjAs4eFPAAj-4crgbJeT7Jxtt-QmnPfgwsj2qpVvKp4IoZGb4R0INuCF7rkP1i-SU1LLlaJ5qoCXzhh_aj3hC54M-Nvg/s1600-h/tennant.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 350px; height: 309px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMF4zDdalCn0kubFGVyKF2OqIUnSBa6fmcVBRhoI_YqKk1y5pgjAs4eFPAAj-4crgbJeT7Jxtt-QmnPfgwsj2qpVvKp4IoZGb4R0INuCF7rkP1i-SU1LLlaJ5qoCXzhh_aj3hC54M-Nvg/s400/tennant.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5262994102482552162" border="0" /></a><br />I had hoped he might hold out for one series under <span style="font-weight: bold;">Stephen Moffat's</span> stewardship (the incoming show runner who previously penned excellent Who stories such as <span style="font-style: italic;">Silence in the Library</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">Blink</span>), but it seems it is not to be. He will appear at The Doctor for five more specials to be broadcast over the next year and a bit, meaning there is just five, short hours of Tennant left to enjoy.<br /><br />I know Tennant's tenancy of the <span style="font-weight: bold;">TARDIS</span> has divided opinion; the majority seem to love him and think he has really made the role his own, while the moaning minority seem to think he is a useless clown who has no place in such a serious-minded piece of powerful drama as Who. To the latter crowd I only have this irrefutable argument to offer: piss off, you tits.<br /><br />I for one will miss David Tennant's Doctor immensely; I think he has done a bang-on job in balancing the comic with the dramatic, and it is not for nothing that he has become so popular with the audience. But equally I can quite understand his desire to move on before it is too late, and hope he gets to enjoy even bigger success hereafter.<br /><br />I was going to do an hilarious 'Who Should Be The Next Who' post (what about <span style="font-weight: bold;">Russell Brand</span>? LOL! Or <span style="font-weight: bold;">Bill Cosby</span>? ROFFLE! Or a cat in a wig?) but quite frankly it is far too soon to be contemplating the next Doctor. The wounds are still raw, dammit.<br /><br />Now let me be. I have some mourning to do.<br /><br />Weeeeep.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-58782503529344367922008-10-26T03:10:00.000-07:002008-10-26T15:07:23.227-07:00An Extra Hour<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKckwKvgZAvadTOLDP767ECWhdhjah1Ryc_a-0ENBQ0P4WE95w9e7BzMEwchqGosajPik3QPIwKPxmcMLu2zraUYIV_NAt46g5_heUBMNN4eR6lxymcYuKIKsKRfy62tDUSq_Bui1IHm0/s1600-h/bigben2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 133px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKckwKvgZAvadTOLDP767ECWhdhjah1Ryc_a-0ENBQ0P4WE95w9e7BzMEwchqGosajPik3QPIwKPxmcMLu2zraUYIV_NAt46g5_heUBMNN4eR6lxymcYuKIKsKRfy62tDUSq_Bui1IHm0/s200/bigben2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5261413748478057890" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">So, the clocks went back one whole hour today, heralding the end of British Summer Time. Of course, most of us spent this extra time sleeping, but what else could you possibly do with an extra sixty minutes? As ever, Digital Sickbag has the answer!</span><br /><br /><ul><li>Watch an entire episode of <span style="font-weight: bold;">60 Minutes</span>.</li><li>Alternatively, watch two episodes of <span style="font-weight: bold;">Hancock's Half Hour</span>.<br /></li><li>Bake a potato, then set the clock back, and marvel at how your food was ready in no time at all.</li><li>Refuse to set your watch back the one hour, but change all the rest of the clocks in the house, and then pretend you are a time traveller from the future visiting the past.</li><li>Boil twenty three-minute eggs, one after the other.<br /></li><li>Watch part of a shitty film, read some of a rubbish book, or simply spend an hour doing something you don't like. Then, set the clocks back and be safe in the knowledge that you didn't waste any of your precious time doing those things.</li><li>Prepare for the onset of <span style="font-weight: bold;">Seasonal Affective Disorder</span> by going out and buying loads of lamps and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Prozac</span>.<br /></li><li>Before the clocks go back, go out and rob a store, or hot-wire a car or something, and then watch with glee as the time in which you committed your felony is wiped from history, allowing you to completely get away with your crime.</li><li>Make love. Thirty times.<br /></li><li>Count to 216,000.</li><li>Go to Greenwich and be really mean to everyone there. It is <span style="font-weight: bold;">Greenwich Mean Time</span> now, after all.</li><li>Laugh smugly at people who have forgotten to set their clocks correctly, and revel in their bleary-eyed confusion as they wake up one hour too early.</li><li>Refuse to acknowledge the time change, and insist upon living in your own, personal time-zone.</li><li>Use the extra hour to finally update your crappy blog which you have been neglecting for the past three weeks.</li></ul>What will YOU do with this extra hour, Sickbaggers?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-83573969560018535992008-10-03T05:16:00.000-07:002008-10-03T05:59:02.137-07:00When Celebrities Collide<span style="font-weight: bold;">Do you like celebrities?</span><br /><br />Of course you do. We <span style="font-style: italic;">all</span> do. But do you, like me, worry that there are maybe <span style="font-style: italic;">too many </span>celebrities in the world today, making it a little more difficult to spread the celeb-love equally to them all?<br /><br />Thank the Maker, then, for <span style="font-weight: bold;">Popmash</span>.<br /><br />Popmash is the genius creation of awesomely awesome animator <a href="http://www.michaelwhaite.co.uk"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Michael Whaite</span></a> (who I have mentioned before, in equally gushing terms, <a href="http://digitalsickbag.blogspot.com/2008/05/im-bringing-carrots-back.html">here</a> and <a href="http://digitalsickbag.blogspot.com/2008/08/items-of-interest-interest-may-vary.html">here</a>). The concept of Popmash is simple: take two celebrities and fling them together in a genetic tumble-dryer, and marvel at the freakish composite entity that pops out later.<br /><br />Already Mike's Popmashing madness has led to two brilliant short cartoons; namely <span style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu54-qwqoZk">Bee Geesus</a> </span>and <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGlEZ6iDrJE&feature=related"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mr. Benn-y Hill</span></a>. Watch them, they're fab.<br /><br />Recently Mike has been hard at work expanding his Popmash empire, resulting in a <a href="http://www.popmash.co.uk">spiffy new web site</a> with the added bonus that you can now purchase fine goods bearing the spliced-up celebrities' likenesses. Most excellently of all, this includes<span style="font-weight: bold;"> t-shirts</span>, so now you can proudly display your love of two famous folk at once, whilst out and about leading your distinctly un-starry lives! HUZZAH!<br /><br />Here's just a sample of some of the Popmash apparel you can now purchase:<br /><br /><center><img src="http://www.gaup.co.uk/mashff.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://www.gaup.co.uk/mashkong.jpg" /><br /><img src="http://www.gaup.co.uk/mashcher.jpg" /></center>Brilliant. Clearly, the Popmash phenomenon is only going to get bigger, so hop along to the <a href="http://www.popmash.co.uk">website</a> now, or directly to the <a href="http://www.shopmash.co.uk">Shopmash store</a>, and snap yourself up some top-quality merchandise before everyone else does. That way you'll look waaaaay cool, and you'll probably get shagged heaps too.*<br /><br />See you on the red carpet!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />*likelihood dependent on physical repulsiveness.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-75107954307988723712008-09-24T07:30:00.000-07:002008-09-24T07:48:18.333-07:00Fanton: Established 1978<span style="font-weight:bold;">Bloody hell. I am now thirty years old.</span><br /><br />Yes, dear readers, as of yesterday I bade a fond farewell to my twenties and found myself staggering into my thirties; 'staggering' being quite the correct word here, as I was partying through Monday night into the wee hours on Tuesday, with some of my very favourite people on the planet. Good times!<br /><br />I've had lots of people remark on this milestone year, asking me how I feel about hitting the big three-oh. To be honest, I don't really appropriate any large significance to hitting thirty. I certainly don't 'feel' thirty; whether that is due to crippling immaturity and irresponsibility, or whether it is because I have been blessed with incredibly youthful (good) looks, I cannot say. But so far, nothings really changed.<br /><br />I've just thought: that above statement could be seen as being rather tragic. Here I am, thirty years old, and nothing has really changed over the last few years. Except, y'know, I have <a href="http://digitalsickbag.blogspot.com/2008/09/i-am-shit-i-am-best.html">no job</a> now.<br /><br />So, yeah: I'm an awful, thirty year-old jobless <span style="font-style:italic;">loser</span>. <br /><br />Uh-oh. This party is in danger of going sour. BRING ON THE MUSIC!<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9i6JZNI5GEk&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9i6JZNI5GEk&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />I love that tune. For the curious, it is called 'L-O-V-E' and is by a great new band I've recently chanced across called <span style="font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://www.sugarushbeatco.com/intro/">SugaRush Beat Company</a></span>. Groove-a-licious, as the kids might say. If they were particularly dumb.<br /> <br />Anyway: there we go. Next time I see you, I might have taken to smoking a pipe and wearing a cardigan. But I doubt it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-68851703876597022572008-09-19T16:32:00.000-07:002008-09-19T17:30:17.763-07:00I Am Shit, I Am Best<span style="font-weight: bold;">Its been a rather odd day today, all told.</span><br /><br />It began terribly when I got <span style="font-weight: bold;">fired</span> this morning from my awful, minimum-wage job, for committing the terrible crime of..<span style="font-style: italic;">.eating a hotdog</span>. A hotdog that was due to be chucked in the bin anyway, as it was the end of the night and thus was not going to be sold.<br /><br />And so, for that horrendous act (no doubt causing the multi-million pound company for which I work untold damage and distress), I had my employment terminated. After seven and a half years of loyal service, it turned out that at the end of the day I was worth less to the company than an old, discarded sausage.<br /><br />And as an added bonus, this took place only four days before my birthday. DOUBLE FUN!<br /><br />Naturally, I was less than pleased and felt completely and utterly depressed by the whole affair.<br /><br />However, on the flip-side of this particular coin, was the fact that when I got back to my house, I found that an earlier, off-the-cuff suggestion to <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Guardian's</span> 'Comment is Free' on <a href="http://twitter.com/commentisfree"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Twitter</span></a> had resulted in <a href="http://lordlikely.co.uk/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lord Likely's blog</span></a> being selected as one of the '<span style="font-weight: bold;">Best of the Web</span>' on their <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree">website</a>!<br /><br />BEHOLD!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2Z9QzNGc1-9rRSoCWY9ITnVEm1HONdUf1z5l5TBPUZKhKHyk2qEhUEYzEnnN00vLply3WXX25FoutERHwPfneNT36JMsUEqnX3yHMosIqiXyZlr_fNFUJLifErS8TthJNQrfaS-ACeSo/s1600-h/guardianlord.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2Z9QzNGc1-9rRSoCWY9ITnVEm1HONdUf1z5l5TBPUZKhKHyk2qEhUEYzEnnN00vLply3WXX25FoutERHwPfneNT36JMsUEqnX3yHMosIqiXyZlr_fNFUJLifErS8TthJNQrfaS-ACeSo/s400/guardianlord.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5247892430704829346" border="0" /></a>Obviously I'm a little aggrieved to see my stuff BELOW a <span style="font-weight: bold;">LOLCats</span>-based story (especially being the purveyor of high-quality <a href="http://digitalsickbag.blogspot.com/2008/03/ripdogs.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">RIPDogs</span></a>, myself), but still, there it was. A link to my writing, on The Guardian's website.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Fuck me.</span><br /><br />Since then, I've been fielding loads of text messages, emails and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Facebook</span> comments either commiserating with me on the loss of my job, or congratulating me on getting a link from The Guardian. I don't know whether I should be wallowing in self-pity and sadness, or leaping for joy and hurling myself into fresh writing work.<br /><br />Like I said, its been a really odd day.<br /><br />Now all I have to do is find a way to build upon my writing success, and, y'know...actually get paid to do it, or something. I think that'd be nice.<br /><br />Either that, or its off to <span style="font-weight: bold;">McDonald's</span>.<br /><br />See you in the dole queue!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-77367226065884537052008-09-17T09:33:00.000-07:002008-09-18T07:02:25.715-07:00Virtual Wordsack: One<center><img src="http://www.gaup.co.uk/sickbagverse.jpg" /></center><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Welcome, dear readers!</span><br /><br />Having seen the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sickbag</span> become something of a repository for meandering posts about nothing of any interest lately, I thought it was high time I forced this blog back on track, and restored it to its rightful position as the best place on the internet to find the very finest writing imaginable.<br /><br />To this end, may I welcome you to a new, regular feature on the Sickbag, which I have called '<span style="font-weight: bold;">Digital Sickbag's Virtual Wordsack</span>' (henceforth known as <span style="font-weight: bold;">DSVW</span>, which I admit does sound like a car-simulator for <span style="font-weight: bold;">Nintendo's</span> current handheld console of choice).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">DSVW</span> will feature some of my own personal poetry, created by my own hands and brain, and shared with you, <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Internet</span>. It's about time we had some real culture here, wouldn't you agree?<br /><br />So here for your enjoyment I present my verse. I hope you enjoy. It.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Love Machine</span><br /><br />My pistons are pumping<br />My gears are turning fast<br />I'm ready for humping<br />Inspection I have passed.<br /><br />My motor is turning<br />My nuts and bolts are tight<br />My furnace is burning<br />I'll be running all night<br /><br />My crankshaft is cranking<br />My engine purrs inside<br />Get ready for spanking<br />-Oh!<br />My battery has died.<br /><br />Oh no!<br />Now I'm leaking oil<br />See it drip onto the floor<br />Girl please don't recoil...<br /><br />This never happened before.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Splish Splash On My Moustache</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixek-Vz0uWJ1IUL12XCFg0Ws4EqJivncKIpSwG6UiKbKeFIkGYolQNQ0dczP6oTxV1hGzX9u5hxucSM5Pu2ZTl9F58VUkromUbU8hGO8aP4ri0xUv0pfOAJ1p-obGTJridnQLXgS8JCF8/s1600-h/rain.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixek-Vz0uWJ1IUL12XCFg0Ws4EqJivncKIpSwG6UiKbKeFIkGYolQNQ0dczP6oTxV1hGzX9u5hxucSM5Pu2ZTl9F58VUkromUbU8hGO8aP4ri0xUv0pfOAJ1p-obGTJridnQLXgS8JCF8/s400/rain.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5247043733331387026" border="0" /></a><br />Splish Splash, Splish Splash,<br />Gotta go, really must dash,<br />Splish Splash, Splish Splash,<br />There's rain on my moustache.<br /><br />Aw no look at that it's rainin' down on me,<br />Coming down hard like an upside-down sea.<br />This has ruined my day, robbed it of its fizz,<br />It's like God pulled down his pants and took a mighty whizz.<br /><br />Splish Splash, Splish Splash,<br />Gotta go, really must dash,<br />Splish Splash, Splish Splash,<br />There's rain on my moustache.<br /><br />The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain,<br />Well I took a plane to Spain during Juan Carlos' reign<br />And do you know what I saw when I got there?<br />Everywhere was rained upon, it all got its share.<br /><br />Splish Splash, Splish Splash,<br />Gotta go, really must dash,<br />Splish Splash, Splish Splash,<br />There's rain on my moustache.<br /><br />I guess what I'm saying is rain will always get you wet,<br />I know that's kinda obvious but just don't you forget.<br />The real reason why the rain has made me so dismayed<br />Is that its pissed upon my perfectly-planned parade.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Donut</span><br /><br />I really don't understand your dislike of the donut<br />Some people share your views but I simply do not<br />Why is it that you hate donuts so, what gets you in this knot?<br />You can tell me honey, let me in your doo-dah nut.<br /><br />Why do you despise this tasty treat from the bakery?<br />Did it cheat on you, was it bigamy?<br />I'm sorry that wasn't very big of me<br />But I cannot comprehend your hate of this delicacy.<br /><br />What about the ones with the tasty chocolate icing?<br />Surely those donuts have got to be somewhat enticing?<br />Jam donuts I always find so appetising<br />I really cannot see what it is that you are despising.<br /><br />Were you bullied by donuts when you were at school?<br />Did they pick on you and make you look a fool?<br />'Cos that kind of behaviour is really not cool,<br />But to take it out on all donuts is just plain cruel.<br /><br />I'm sorry to go on, girl, but it just shows how much I care,<br />I hate to see these donuts driving you so very spare,<br />If you really don't want one then I guess that that's fair,<br />If you would much prefer, I'll get you an éclair.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">To Bille</span><br /><br /><center><img src="http://www.gaup.co.uk/piper2.jpg" /></center><br /><br />Oh Billie, Billie, Billie,<br />Can't you see what you're doing<br />To my willy, willy, willy?<br /><br />When I noticed you,<br />on Doctor Who<br />You looked so cute I wanted to<br />Doctor You<br />We'd fly off in that box of blue,<br />just like the<br />Doctor'd do,<br />We'd find a lonely planet and there we'd screw<br />I'd really like to<br />Doggy you.<br />Yeah!<br /><br />Now you play a ho<br />on that TV show<br />But you're beautiful so<br />you ain't no ho<br />I can't believe yo'<br />would lower yourself so.<br />But if the rates were reasonable<br />I'd still give you a go<br />yeah.<br /><br />Oh Billie, Billie, Billie,<br />Can't you see what you're doing<br />To my willy, willy, willy?<br /></div><br /><br /><br />I thank you.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-81270087544129284022008-09-04T17:50:00.000-07:002008-09-04T17:53:51.345-07:00Five Weeks in the Making<span style="font-weight: bold;">Cor blimey, guv.</span><br /><br />Its been five weeks or so since I last updated the Sickbag. What exactly have I been doing in that time?<br /><br />I'll tell you what - I came up with this truly EXCELLENT joke. BEHOLD:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Q: </span>What happened to the man who gave Nostradamus a haircut and a shave?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">A:</span> He made a <span style="font-style: italic;">tidy prophet</span>!<br /><br />Ah-hahahahaha!<br /><br />Well worth the wait, I"m sure you'll agree.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-67046960170901232252008-08-13T07:13:00.000-07:002008-08-13T07:44:55.156-07:00Items of Interest (Interest May Vary)<span style="font-weight: bold;">It's lazy blog-post time, as I present a selection of links and 'things' that may be of interest to you (and you) with the minimum of writing in between, and without the need for any jokes or anything approaching creativity. HOORAY!</span><br />First up, here's a <span style="font-weight: bold;">YouTube</span> video based around my good chum <span style="font-weight: bold;">Stu Munro's</span> excellent webcomic, <a href="http://www.myspace.com/thebitteresthobo"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ray the Otter</span></a>.<br /><br />Ray the Otter is a foul-mouthed, misogynistic, racist otter who appears in his own comic, dispensing all manner of offensive quips, much to the bewilderment of his little friend, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Mr. Peepers.</span><br /><br />Ray has been released from the confines of the comic panel, and thrust into a semi-animated toon by <a href="http://thebestbitoftheinternet.blogspot.com/2007/11/best-bits-of-internet-that-we-didnt-do.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Daveula</span></a> creator <span style="font-weight: bold;">Tom Butler</span>. The result is excellent, disgusting and excellent once more.<br /><br />Here it is now:<br /><br /><center><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/supi9vj0Fyc&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/supi9vj0Fyc&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></center><br /><br />My other good chum,<span style="font-weight: bold;"> <a href="http://www.michaelwhaite.co.uk/">Mike Whaite</a></span> (he of <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Carrotty Kid</span> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvwYTQgmYDg">pilot episode</a> fame) has gone quiet recently, but then returned yesterday in a blaze of glory, with this excellent animation featuring a potty-mouthed hippo singing <span style="font-weight: bold;">John Denver's</span> classic track, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Annie's Song</span>. It's ruddy ace.<br /><br /><center><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/m5mJFrdaRAM&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/m5mJFrdaRAM&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></center><br /><br />In <a href="http://lordlikely.co.uk/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lord Likely</span></a> news, I recently received my first-ever piece of Likely merchandise - a selection of mini-cards bearing his lordship's handsome face, made by those fine folk at <a href="http://www.moo.com/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">moo.com</span></a>. They are really lovely.<br /><br />Here they are in fabulous blur-o-vision:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBzhvlFJLbSpZfXERV5VmmtBU5NXKY7rojMqLwaIdR-6Zoobt49zsAhqJRJR9cd-K7tO8KvL1QhW3V7oRmG-atOBXhGKnX-GfUE3uFOuDX32sUmukxXh08QW0Oq1JcUmsQeO0RZOFeaUM/s1600-h/likelymc1a.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBzhvlFJLbSpZfXERV5VmmtBU5NXKY7rojMqLwaIdR-6Zoobt49zsAhqJRJR9cd-K7tO8KvL1QhW3V7oRmG-atOBXhGKnX-GfUE3uFOuDX32sUmukxXh08QW0Oq1JcUmsQeO0RZOFeaUM/s400/likelymc1a.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5234011620758076066" border="0" /></a><br />And look! You can even use them as bookmarks! HOORAY!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIJkAuypKPaHAxUohvqujgIX6PEwvF1rXI6H3u56EWNmSJ5ebThxnURHhuFeSyo3bz9tdVw0VMXUMrrJLAf4sRy3T4JIRrKmIBFg5Lwrw7aGNu7XnC0GyBvTsuwVcazXdDcVjgUrUjmC8/s1600-h/likelymc2b.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIJkAuypKPaHAxUohvqujgIX6PEwvF1rXI6H3u56EWNmSJ5ebThxnURHhuFeSyo3bz9tdVw0VMXUMrrJLAf4sRy3T4JIRrKmIBFg5Lwrw7aGNu7XnC0GyBvTsuwVcazXdDcVjgUrUjmC8/s400/likelymc2b.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5234011623879076402" border="0" /></a><br />I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do with them. I might send them to loyal Likely fans, or sneak into bookshops and slip them between the covers of every <span style="font-weight: bold;">Dan Brown</span> book on the shelves. Decisions, decisions!<br /><br />Finally, my spoof showbiz website<span style="font-weight: bold;"> gaup</span> has spluttered back into life, with five - yes, FIVE - new articles <a href="http://www.gaup.co.uk/">awaiting your perusal</a>. Meanwhile, <a href="http://www.thecarrottykid.co.uk/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Carrotty Kid</span></a> has ground to a temporary halt again. Man, it's hard work juggling all these sites, you know.<br /><br />That's it for this highly fascinating round-up of stuff and things. See you next time!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-47451248006813382292008-08-05T13:27:00.000-07:002008-08-05T16:17:58.603-07:00The Superheroes That Hollywood Forgot<span style="font-weight: bold;">As The Dark Knight flaps onto cinema screens worldwide, during an already superhero-packed year (what with Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Hancock and Hellboy II having all hit the big screen), it looks as if Hollywood's love affair with comic looks stronger than ever.</span><br /><br />And with <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Watchmen, Captain America, Wolverine, The Punisher, Thor</span> and <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Avengers</span> all waiting on the sidelines for the next few years, Hollywood seems in no hurry to give up on converting colourful caped crusaders to motion-picture marvels.<br /><br />But superheroes are a finite resource, and it can only be a matter of time before Hollywood plunders the super-powered well dry, and run out of costumed characters to franchise.<br /><br />Luckily, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Digital Sickbag</span> is on hand to alert Mr. Hollywood to a few of the world's lesser-known heroes, which we feel are ripe for the cinematic treatment.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjskrk7cBCqPZE0FtBe_dM-JZH69p30Oaz3nXABAlujBd5fY49MI21SUvlFnkU6wSdFeXuDzYdVnXXumdJ5X2rq9lTosyAlJEKfSu41MBFKbUzmUWrmPHeoeBLU3MxfDwtGgZ69hI1lAJ4/s1600-h/bananaman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjskrk7cBCqPZE0FtBe_dM-JZH69p30Oaz3nXABAlujBd5fY49MI21SUvlFnkU6wSdFeXuDzYdVnXXumdJ5X2rq9lTosyAlJEKfSu41MBFKbUzmUWrmPHeoeBLU3MxfDwtGgZ69hI1lAJ4/s400/bananaman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231164272866961874" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Bananaman:</span> When mild-mannered schoolboy <span style="font-weight: bold;">Eric Wimp</span> eats a banana, an astounding transformation occurs - he turns into the lantern-jawed crime-fighter Bananaman.<br /><br />Having been a mainstay of British comics for the past twenty-five odd years, Bananaman also became the star of a short-lived animated series in the eighties, but so far has not made the leap to the big screen.<br /><br />We feel the adventures of the utterly useless, Banana-powered superhero and his nutty nemeses <span style="font-weight: bold;">Appleman, General Blight</span> and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Doctor Gloom</span> would be the perfect tonic to the 'gritty' and 'realistic' comic-fare of late. It might even give the British comics industry a much needed shot in the arm, unless they balls it up like they did with the god-awful <span style="font-weight: bold;">Judge Dredd</span>.<br /><br />Plus, banana sales would <span style="font-style: italic;">sky-rocket</span>.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRF2kpX5NLVWOinHo1rQ2PqbxUdMPwsWHIAN4PNR5_3IZIIloQMGn8AGzQ4o8ZWoVz8KhqB_ZopKB55dtZpEifBMQWycPooT4dq82a7EBwsaZhdZ9kfaKOdGIzEX8uFQ3KXA990c4d0eQ/s1600-h/impossibles.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRF2kpX5NLVWOinHo1rQ2PqbxUdMPwsWHIAN4PNR5_3IZIIloQMGn8AGzQ4o8ZWoVz8KhqB_ZopKB55dtZpEifBMQWycPooT4dq82a7EBwsaZhdZ9kfaKOdGIzEX8uFQ3KXA990c4d0eQ/s400/impossibles.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231164743677748706" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Impossibles:</span> During their highly prolific 60s heyday, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Hanna-Barbera</span> churned out an awful lot of cartoons, some of which were pure poop.<br /><br />The Impossibles was one such show, follwoing the escapades of three kids (who played in a band by day) who were also superheroes, and slightly gash ones at that. You had <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Coil</span> (blessed with spring-like limbs, and not adept at birth-control as you might suspect), <span style="font-weight: bold;">Fluid Man</span> (who could turn into, well...fluid) and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Multi Man</span>, who could replicate himself many times over.<br /><br />The Impossibles battled equally crap villains, such as <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Bubbler</span> (preferred weapon of choice: indestructible bubbles), <span style="font-weight: bold;">Beamatron</span> (shot lasers from his hands) and the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Perilous Paper Man</span>, who could transform into paper and who boasted of 'complete mastery over all office equipment'.<br /><br />Despite being toss, if Hollywood had to really scrape the bottom of the barrel for fresh superheroics, I suppose they could turn The Impossibles into some kind of superhero parody, or something. But then, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Batman and Robin</span> already beat them to it, I suppose.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXehNJtvvrVQ4GuxecWo-HU_m1KJKj4BtiifmS7ML1N33Sxu3E5mCnBDmKg0kiQlmSJUUe0xQdKiG0SbvSVduz4mWamgZsplXIge_SIhk4idqnpWihgxrjsRQAX4iz2D87ZRxRtl87Bf8/s1600-h/superted.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXehNJtvvrVQ4GuxecWo-HU_m1KJKj4BtiifmS7ML1N33Sxu3E5mCnBDmKg0kiQlmSJUUe0xQdKiG0SbvSVduz4mWamgZsplXIge_SIhk4idqnpWihgxrjsRQAX4iz2D87ZRxRtl87Bf8/s400/superted.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231164746177740098" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />SuperTed:</span> The star of his very own cartoon in the 1980s, SuperTed must rank as one of the most bizarre shows ever created.<br /><br />SuperTed begins life as a discarded teddy bear, ejected from the toy factory for being defective. For reasons not quite made clear, a spotty alien (called <span style="font-weight: bold;">Spotty</span>, cleverly) takes pity on the discarded bear, and takes him to see <span style="font-weight: bold;">Mother Nature</span>, who gives him life, and special powers. For some equally unfathomable reason.<br /><br />From there on, SuperTed takes to fighting crime, but his line-up of villains made even less sense, featuring as they did a ruthless cowboy, a fat dope and a really, really camp skeleton. It really was bonkers, yet somewhat endearing.<br /><br />At least a big-budget movie version couldn't make any less sense than <span style="font-weight: bold;">Catwoman.</span><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPwPpHNTvFWN1gA7IOxuxFPyHgaRRq2G5Qg8M13Rn2qEIhkaYrrJo51cYDhy9U5Nmb-z6kvXYEvw4DEE9yN3wx4cy-s1RrheyJgyEWU6xvLAmR_lX6_N9kKjuflfd9YaJZqYPiy1IRfN4/s1600-h/supergran.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPwPpHNTvFWN1gA7IOxuxFPyHgaRRq2G5Qg8M13Rn2qEIhkaYrrJo51cYDhy9U5Nmb-z6kvXYEvw4DEE9yN3wx4cy-s1RrheyJgyEWU6xvLAmR_lX6_N9kKjuflfd9YaJZqYPiy1IRfN4/s400/supergran.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231164748901881090" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />Supergran:</span> Another veteran of British kid's TV, Supergran was a Scottish series about, well, a super gran.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Granny Smith</span> was hit by some sort of beam which gave her super-strength and super-speed, which she put to good use defeating the villainous <span style="font-weight: bold;">Scunner Campbell</span> and his henchmen, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Muscles</span> and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Dustin</span>.<br /><br />The best thing about Super gran was the excellent theme, recorded by <span style="font-weight: bold;">Billy Connolly</span>. We'd pay good money to hear that classic tune pumping through the speakers of our local multiplex.<br /><br />Altogether now: '"Stand back Superman, Iceman, Spiderman, Batman and Robin too. Don't wanna cause a ruckus, but B. A. Barracus have I got a match for you! She makes them look like a bunch of fairies, she's got more bottle than United Dairies... Hang about... Look out... for Supergran!"<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhME3yj6KDum6-tAEsjju7Kh1YmTWipiTXMVIxMJee6rSvyV7KnYQ3l5t8QfTBHnjzxQc4h7zuqatTxIjLXX8xe3ppyXayCMJEARIhDTin4b6KkJwFZI5_rmDIS2K_2UOEgKmI6FBrKBys/s1600-h/ferret.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhME3yj6KDum6-tAEsjju7Kh1YmTWipiTXMVIxMJee6rSvyV7KnYQ3l5t8QfTBHnjzxQc4h7zuqatTxIjLXX8xe3ppyXayCMJEARIhDTin4b6KkJwFZI5_rmDIS2K_2UOEgKmI6FBrKBys/s400/ferret.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231164749180314306" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />The Ferret:</span> The Ferret was one of <span style="font-weight: bold;">Malibu Comics'</span> short-lived titles, featuring a bloke called <span style="font-weight: bold;">Cal Denton</span>, who had super-agility and feral powers, and who looked a bit like a singer from an 80s hair-metal band. Plus, he was lumbered with a terrible superhero name that would strike fear in precisely no-one.<br /><br />"Quick! Here comes the Ferret!"<br /><br />"The...the what?"<br /><br />"The Ferret!"<br /><br />"Wait, are you seriously telling me that dude is called The Ferret? Oh, man! 'Oh no, here comes <span style="font-style: italic;">The Ferret</span>'. We'd better get a burlap bag, or something! What a <span style="font-style: italic;">tool</span>."<br /><br />"I guess it does sound pretty funny when you look at it like that..."<br /><br />He was shit, really.<br /><br />We think there could be some mileage in taking the character and reinventing him for the movies. Have Cal Denton get bitten by a radioactive ferret, and then have him fight crime by wriggling up criminals trouser-legs, and gnawing on their privates.<br /><br />It'd be a blockbuster, I tell you.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigEwfnveztT8aOJt0sMaAajiD3RXaaVx-Ht34kKVhmLjcp9ks4En9_MeiHbyRjzczti9-My37nkSKWz-BOd-7udaowdhBM7vYSzLFyPLS-wXfK7tGJQfXhJEkYjRVVrvupZ58DfnCVaPI/s1600-h/jimmyolsen.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigEwfnveztT8aOJt0sMaAajiD3RXaaVx-Ht34kKVhmLjcp9ks4En9_MeiHbyRjzczti9-My37nkSKWz-BOd-7udaowdhBM7vYSzLFyPLS-wXfK7tGJQfXhJEkYjRVVrvupZ58DfnCVaPI/s400/jimmyolsen.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231164753057564754" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen:</span> Red-headed reporter and wacky funster Jimmy Olsen was given his own spin-off comic book back in 1954, which somehow managed to run for twenty years, despite Olsen having no super-powers and being a bit, well, crap.<br /><br />However, as <span style="font-weight: bold;">Fox</span> is spinning <span style="font-weight: bold;">Wolverine</span> off into his own movie, and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sony</span> is rumoured to be prepping a solo outing for <span style="font-weight: bold;">Venom</span>, it can only be a matter of time before Jimmy Olsen lands his own cinematic series, in which he tries on a fake moustaches, battles gorillas and tries to cut <span style="font-weight: bold;">Superman's</span> hair.<br /><br />We think it could work, but it all depends whether Hollywood is ready to allow a film to be fronted by a character from a much-maligned minority (i.e. gingers).<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwnIbAGgF3Ctty1Lg2Zc80g7csIvpxPRiFwBR712fcYhxv8t5mtesP-8ZaesHIBTAaa3tM8U99f-Km7XipGjiDx0NCCV7E-lgGctuOxMkLT-4JB2hTPrrNlKwVsVcKoV55oCSVqYOXbXA/s1600-h/huntsman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwnIbAGgF3Ctty1Lg2Zc80g7csIvpxPRiFwBR712fcYhxv8t5mtesP-8ZaesHIBTAaa3tM8U99f-Km7XipGjiDx0NCCV7E-lgGctuOxMkLT-4JB2hTPrrNlKwVsVcKoV55oCSVqYOXbXA/s400/huntsman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5231176279560957746" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Huntsman:</span> You could pluck any character from Warner Brothers' excellent (but brief) cartoon series <span style="font-weight: bold;">Freakazoid!</span> for silver screen immortality, but our money would be on The Huntsman.<br /><br />Each episode of The Huntsman began with an action-packed intro, showing the Huntsman (summoned by the '<span style="font-weight: bold;">Horn of Urgency</span>') fighting criminals and overcoming evil.<br /><br />But then the episode proper began, with The Huntsman walking into the commissioner's office looking for work. And each week, without fail, the commissioner would reply that there was no crime to fight, leaving the Huntsman to depart, angry and dismayed.<br /><br />We think a Huntsman movie would be a brilliant alternative to the smash-pow, special effects-laden superhero blockbusters of today. It could just be two hours of The Huntsman and the commissioner talking, lamenting on how quiet the city is, and pondering on the good of a crime fighter with no crime to fight.<br /><br />Then, The Huntsman could leave in a huff, kicking a bin on the way out, which could be rendered in state-of-the-art CGI just to keep the audience happy.<br /><br />One ticket, please!<br /><br /><br />So there you go, Hollywood, some ideas for you to try out. There's no need to thank us, we just want to make sure you keep pumping out those super-powered pictures.<br /><br />If you must thank us for saving your sorry behinds, please make all cheques out to Digital Sickbag.<br /><br />Thanks!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-86098850772097063392008-07-17T05:16:00.000-07:002008-07-17T05:51:39.230-07:00You Make Me Feel Like Dancin'<span style="font-weight:bold;">Wow. You guys. <span style="font-style:italic;">You guys.</span></span><br /><br />Since yesterday's rather pathetic plea for cash donations to help renew my hosting for my <span style="font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://www.thecarrottykid.co.uk">www.thecarrottykid.co.uk</a></span> domain, you gorgeous, lovely people have taken pity on my terrible plight, and left me richer to the tune of some <span style="font-weight:bold;">forty pounds</span>.<br /><br />Big, sticky thank yous go out to <span style="font-weight:bold;">Summer, Shawn, Stephen, Richard</span> and <span style="font-weight:bold;">Diane</span>. You are all one hundred percent spectacular. <span style="font-style:italic;">Thank you!</span><br /><br />I am genuinely touched and humbled by your generosity. It's the spirit of kindness and humanity on display that has really made me a richer man today.<br /><br />Well, that and the forty pounds, obviously.<br /><br />All this loveliness has made me want to dance with joy. In fact, let us all dance together. Let us dance naked, like this lot in this excellent video for a song called <span style="font-weight:bold;">Toejam</span>, done by the <span style="font-weight:bold;">Brighton Port Authority</span> (aka <span style="font-weight:bold;">Norman 'Fatboy Slim' Cook</span>, <span style="font-weight:bold;">Talking Heads'</span> frontman <span style="font-weight:bold;">David Byrne</span> and <span style="font-weight:bold;">Dizzee Rascal</span>). This video made me smile, the song is lovely and it features the most inventive use of censor bars I have ever seen. <br /><br />I bestow it to you as a big, sloppy thank you to all of you who donated to <span style="font-weight:bold;">Carrot Aid. </span><br /><br />Enjoy. And thank you again!<br /><br /><center><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/R3RCYnG8Pe4&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/R3RCYnG8Pe4&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></center><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">- Fanton. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-82737642633121356992008-07-16T06:03:00.000-07:002008-07-16T07:02:00.631-07:00Money For Nothing<span style="font-weight: bold;">Money, money, money </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Must be funny </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> In the rich man's world.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Abba, 1976.</span><br /><br />Ah, how wise those Swedish songsters were!<br /><br />Money <span style="font-style: italic;">must</span> be funny in a rich man's world, because it sure as heck isn't funny in this particular poor man's world.<br /><br />Yup, I'm utterly<span style="font-weight: bold;"> skint</span> this month, due to a hilarious (read: depressing) chain of events involving the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Student Loans Company</span>, my bank and a shed-load of charges. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Bastards.</span><br /><br />As such, I have precisely <span style="font-weight: bold;">fifteen pounds</span> to see me through the rest of the month, which means I could well be dead by the time you read this, if my new diet of super-cheap pasta and baked beans conspires to kill me.<br /><br />To rub further salt into my penniless wounds, I received notification that my renewal payment for <a href="http://www.thecarrottykid.co.uk"><span style="font-weight: bold;">www.thecarrottykid.co.uk</span></a> (my excellent webcomic) was declined, due to the aforementioned lack of funds, which is doubly annoying because I spent the past two days working on that damned site, only to learn it could disappear just like that.<br /><br />I have tried to reason with my webhost, but they tell me its an automated process, and after an unspecified period of time, accounts that are in arrears will be deleted. <br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Sigh.</span><br /><br />As well as wiping the Carrotty Kid from the internet, this'll also have a knock-on effect on all the sites in the Likely Empire, as <a href="http://lordlikely.co.uk">Lord Likely's site</a> and this very blog both use The Carrotty Kid's webspace to host various images and bits and pieces.<br /><br />IT COULD MEAN THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT.<br /><br />I don't like to beg, but as the forces of evil rise against me, I figure I might as well throw down my hat and ask for a few pennies from benevolent passers-by.<br /><br />So, I give you: <span style="font-weight: bold;">Carrot Aid</span>.<br /><br />If you have ever found yourself chuckling at my crazy cartoon carrot, or if you have simply enjoyed the bright colours and swirly lines, then perhaps you would like to donate a little bit to the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Carrot Aid Carrot Fund</span>. Or, if you are an avid follower of His Lordship, maybe you too could see your way to throwing a few coins in my virtual hat? Pretty please?<br /><br />Obviously, I'm not going to force anyone to part with their precious cash, nor will I hate you if you don't give anything, but in these desperate times, desperate measures are called for, so I thought I'd give it a try anyway.<br /><br />You can give to Carrot Aid via the <span style="font-weight: bold;">ChipIn widget</span> below, or via <span style="font-weight: bold;">PayPal</span> directly. Or, alternatively, you could buy one of my fabulous t-shirts on <a href="http://www.redbubble.com/people/fanton/clothing"><span style="font-weight: bold;">redbubble.com,</span></a> and thus get something back for your donation!<br /><br /><center><object width="160" height="250"><param name="movie" value="http://widget.chipin.com/widget/id/4de3d4e74a57ba51"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="event_title" value="Carrot%20Aid"></param><param name="event_desc" value="Help%20Keep%20The%20Carrotty%20Kid%20Online%21"></param><param name="color_scheme" value="red"></param><embed src="http://widget.chipin.com/widget/id/4de3d4e74a57ba51" flashVars="event_title=Carrot%20Aid&event_desc=Help%20Keep%20The%20Carrotty%20Kid%20Online%21&color_scheme=red" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="always" wmode="transparent" width="160" height="250"></embed></object></center><br /></br><br /><center><form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post"> <input name="cmd" value="_donations" type="hidden" /> <input name="business" value="andyfanton@googlemail.com" type="hidden" /> <input name="item_name" value="Carrot Aid" type="hidden" /> <input name="no_shipping" value="0" type="hidden" /> <input name="no_note" value="1" type="hidden" /> <input name="currency_code" value="GBP" type="hidden" /> <input name="tax" value="0" type="hidden" /> <input name="lc" value="GB" type="hidden" /> <input name="bn" value="PP-DonationsBF" type="hidden" /> <input src="https://www.paypal.com/en_GB/i/btn/btn_donate_LG.gif" name="submit" alt="PayPal - The safer, easier way to pay online." type="image" border="0" /> <img src="https://www.paypal.com/en_GB/i/scr/pixel.gif" width="1" border="0" height="1" /><br /></form></center><br /><br />Just <b>two pounds</b> could save me from having to eat Pot Noodles ever again.<br /><br /><b>Fifteen pounds</b> could save a young carrot's life.<br /><br /><b>Thirty pounds</b> could help keep a sozzled aristocrat in whisky and gin for an entire day.<br /><br />Thanks in advance to anyone willing to stump up a few coins to allow me to continue churning out my high-quality comedy products. I promise to pay you back in sheer wealth of chuckles!<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Maybe.</span><br /><br />Cheers!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-72438822845366999562008-07-14T19:09:00.000-07:002008-07-14T19:35:21.974-07:00I Wish I was a Doodlebug<span style="font-weight: bold;">It's Doodle Time!</span><br /><br />The lovely <span style="font-weight: bold;">Claire</span> is once again throwing open a doodle-based challenge to all those who read her frankly fabulous blog, <a href="http://crpitt.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">A Little Piece of Me</span></a>.<br /><br />The challenge? To <span style="font-style: italic;">doodle</span>, dammit!<br /><br />I missed the last Doodle Week, (due to me being slightly crap at getting around to stuff) but this time I'm ready. I even have my finest crayons at hand.<br /><br />The theme of today's Doodle Challenge is the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Doodlebug</span>, and so here is my take on this particular theme:<br /><br /><center><img src="http://www.gaup.co.uk/doodlebug.jpg" /></center><br />Man, I wish I was a Doodlebug. Those extra limbs would come in handy for completing the many projects and ideas I have floating about, but for which I never seem to have enough time.<br /><br />Curse you, Doodlebug! Why must you mock me this way?<br /><br />Talking of doodles and projects that have been neglected (God, I'm great at linking things together) today also heralds the return of my semi-successful webcomic <a href="http://www.thecarrottykid.co.uk/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Carrotty Kid.</span></a> It's been six long months since I last did any carrot-based cartoonery, and I have missed the little orange bugger a bit. Look, here he is now, doing some kung-fu or something:<br /><br /><center><img src="http://www.thecarrottykid.co.uk/cknew.jpg" /></center><br />Bless him. Why not visit the homegrown hero at his <a href="http://www.thecarrottykid.co.uk/">website</a>, so I don't wind up having wasted an entire day? Please?<br /><br />Right, I'm off. I think I've got<span style="font-weight: bold;"> artists' cramp</span>. Then again, it might just be <span style="font-weight: bold;">wankers' cramp</span>. It's hard to tell, really. I've done a lot of drawing today, but I've also done more than my fair share of tossing, as well. Ah, well!<br /><br />Next time I take on <span style="font-weight: bold;">Brent's</span> challenge, thrown down from the almighty <a href="http://www.ominouscomma.com">Comma</a>! Will I succeed, or fail terribly? And why is everyone out to challenge me, anyway?<br /><br />Find out at some point this week!<br /><br />Tara for now!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-63028415463215970612008-07-08T18:12:00.000-07:002008-07-08T19:29:08.291-07:00The Shirt Off My Back<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hey, consumers!</span><br /><br />Do you like t-shirts? Do you like wearing t-shirts? Do you like wearing t-shirts with vaguely amusing pictures upon them?<br /><br />You do? WELL YOU'RE IN LUCK!<br /><br />In association with the fine folk at <a href="http://www.redbubble.com/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">redbubble.com</span></a>, I have designed not one but TWO wonderful t-shirts for you to look at and then buy and thus keep me alive for another month.<br /><br />First up, this jolly little number featuring a certain <span style="font-weight: bold;">Mr. Grim Reaper</span>:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBCF250KusFxCgxkK3886ZhiuBUqgD3OnIWHPZ9lpfIArIy8POy7vvmghS4OozBLUdXIkh-MkruJwLrKbQdVLg1D9pjzBjkPVfGGAla9jKLGF2OXdbAzYBwVxnhW1IVWiwfTx3gnntGIo/s1600-h/reaperpic.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBCF250KusFxCgxkK3886ZhiuBUqgD3OnIWHPZ9lpfIArIy8POy7vvmghS4OozBLUdXIkh-MkruJwLrKbQdVLg1D9pjzBjkPVfGGAla9jKLGF2OXdbAzYBwVxnhW1IVWiwfTx3gnntGIo/s400/reaperpic.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220834143845840146" border="0" /></a><br />Oh, <span style="font-style: italic;">Mr. Reaper</span>! You'll be the death of me! Buy this shirt, <a href="http://www.redbubble.com/people/fanton/clothing/1369955-3-a-reapers-work-is-never-done">HERE!</a><br /><br />Secondly, it's the return of everyone's favourite homegrown hero, <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Carrotty Kid</span>, who has gone from failed <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvwYTQgmYDg">TV pilot</a>, to failed <a href="http://www.thecarrottykid.co.uk/">webcomic</a> and is now a lovely t-shirt, ready to adorn your chest or breasts. KA-POW!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja9kX4LJ-U6ADzBA3HHsfBbtWNX5gTrBYasq6pNxYk4oFZtxJEJXQND12ASMtahxeCjFNorkbOujrbgp-cyKljXm2cYV2E5TkAJXJUjqyAH2HksvKqcgANQxcKqF8VV0REPJ21uOAhkDE/s1600-h/carrotshirtpic.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja9kX4LJ-U6ADzBA3HHsfBbtWNX5gTrBYasq6pNxYk4oFZtxJEJXQND12ASMtahxeCjFNorkbOujrbgp-cyKljXm2cYV2E5TkAJXJUjqyAH2HksvKqcgANQxcKqF8VV0REPJ21uOAhkDE/s400/carrotshirtpic.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5220834336749106162" border="0" /></a><br />Buy that tasty little number, <a href="http://www.redbubble.com/people/fanton/clothing/1370223-1-the-carrotty-kid">HERE</a>.<br /><br />Who knows? If enough people buy a shirt, maybe I can stop eating the stuff I find on the floor.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">redbubble</span> is quite a funky <span style="font-weight: bold;">Australian</span>-based site, of which the marketplace is only a small part. There is an excellent social side to the site, allowing you to meet some sickeningly gifted artists, chat to them, and then you can gaze in awe at their fabulous works. It's a bit like a gallery, except there's no creepy guards following you about making sure you don't touch the Pointilists.<br /><br />I thank the sexily talented <a href="http://www.cleandemon.com/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">cleandemon</span></a> for drawing my attention to this wonderful world of wonder.<br /><br />Bye-bye!<br /><br />(Buy buy).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com43tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-67400517284911762762008-07-02T04:31:00.000-07:002008-07-02T07:17:10.885-07:00What Time Do You Call This, Sonny?<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello!</span><br /><br />I have rather neglected this blog and all my blogging activities of late, for which I humbly apologise and beg for your forgiveness.<br /><br />I have been struck with a mixture of extreme laziness and apathy of late, but I took some tablets and it seems to have cleared up nicely.<br /><br />So: I am back, and ready to roll. As well as all my blogging stuff, I'm also working on what may turn out to be a proper, full-paying cartooning gig; as well as toying with some new ideas for <a href="http://lordlikely.co.uk"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lord Likely</span></a>...so watch this space.<br /><br />In other news, I may be a little distracted this week, as I'm counting down the days until the grand finale of the current series of<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Doctor Who</span></a> airs. Last week's cliffhanger had me literally soiling myself with excitement, and I simply cannot wait to see how it all pans out.<br /><br />If you've yet to see last week's Who, then look away now. For the rest of us, here's the teaser for next Saturday's episode:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jUOa_XxfopM&hl=en&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jUOa_XxfopM&hl=en&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Oooh! I just did a little more wee.<br /><br />I'll be back with a better-quality post soon. Until then, take care of yourselves, and each other.<br /><br />Byeee!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-30610580034335255682008-05-26T04:58:00.000-07:002008-05-26T06:42:40.339-07:00Blade Runner<span style="font-weight: bold;">So, there I was, minding my own business, walking home after a long ten-hour shift at work, when a couple of guys stop me and one of them pulls a knife on me.</span><br /><br />It's funny how these things suddenly happen out of the blue, isn't it? Of course, by 'funny' I mean 'horrifying'.<br /><br />It was a Friday night like any other, and I was heading home, taking the same route I always do. The <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sweeney Todd</span> soundtrack was playing on my <span style="font-weight: bold;">MP3</span> player, and as I enjoyed <span style="font-weight: bold;">Johnny Depp's</span> mock-cockney tones mourning the loss of his dear <span style="font-weight: bold;">Johanna</span>, I noticed a couple of figures on the other side of the street.<br /><br />Based on a cunning survival strategy of not approaching strangers, I chose to ignore them, and crossed over to the other side of the road. Unfortunately, it seemed these strangers did not want to ignore me so easily, and so crossed the street as well, and thereby went from being completely ignored to fully acknowledged.<br /><br />One of the two went behind me, while the other took to the front, a classic <span style="font-weight: bold;">Pincer Movement</span> as favoured by military campaigners throughout history, and by lions in the wild. Which would make me the hapless gazelle caught between two predators.<br /><br />The guy in front of me blocked my path and refused to budge, forcing me to dislodge the singing barber from my ears and ask what it was that they wanted. I figured they'd be after a cigarette, or something.<br /><br />"Do you want something?" I said.<br /><br />"Yeah," came the rather blunt reply. What that something was he didn't elaborate on, and just stared at me.<br /><br />"Well, what?" I continued. "What is it?"<br /><br />Then there was a sound that I recognised all too well from my time unpacking boxes in a supermarket - the ratcheting sound of a blade being pushed up several notches on a retractable blade. I looked down to where the noise was coming from, and there it was, clutched in the bloke's hand, blade down.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbdxQ6PuTR1Ch9sJ5QNcypGV7hJkQOj1O7Oxzt8h6Eu3ZY9KnUHqgmIDnuTUTIscAema4JE9e0P7FCG6glm7ciBrmae_eyjZ2S6jujNTmWLRgY-VBfuZH_-JI27H3q0y9LVWzopRr5nPA/s1600-h/blade.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbdxQ6PuTR1Ch9sJ5QNcypGV7hJkQOj1O7Oxzt8h6Eu3ZY9KnUHqgmIDnuTUTIscAema4JE9e0P7FCG6glm7ciBrmae_eyjZ2S6jujNTmWLRgY-VBfuZH_-JI27H3q0y9LVWzopRr5nPA/s200/blade.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5204680881560127970" border="0" /></a>Terror gripped me, and a thousand thoughts jostled for supremacy in my head, the loudest of which was simply, <span style="font-style: italic;">'SHIT!'</span> Not very useful, maybe, but entirely appropriate.<br /><br />I had no idea what to do. I'm entirely useless in any kind of confrontation, and posses precisely zero kung-fu skills, despite having watched dozens of <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jean Claude Van-Damme</span> films. I could not formulate any feasible plan to ensure my continued survival, and was almost resigned to the inevitable stabbing.<br /><br />"What?" I said dumbly, hoping to get some vague idea of what these two wanted. The man in front of me said nothing, fixing me with an ice-cold stare. He angled his body towards me, while the other guy remained behind. <span style="font-style: italic;">Fuck</span>, I thought. This is it. This is how it ends, at the hands of two shitty little bastards, on a dark street in <span style="font-weight: bold;">Portsmouth</span>. What a crap way to go. If I had to go, I'd rather it was at the hands of a dozen, nude, wild nymphomaniacs or something. Not this. This was rubbish.<br /><br />What the hell did they want, anyway? Were they just wanting to stab someone tonight? Or did they want to mug me? If it was the latter, then they'd be sorely disappointed. I had approximately seven pounds on me, and the MP3 player I had been enjoying Sweeney Todd on cost me a fiver form <span style="font-weight: bold;">Tescos</span>. I almost hoped they did want to rob me. The slim pickings upon my person would teach them to pick far wealthier targets in the future.<br /><br />Whatever they wanted, I began to wish they'd get on with it. But still they remained silent and unmoving, not giving me the slightest hint of their intentions. I was sure I was going to be struck at any minute. I was sure they were going to pounce in a flash. Any time now...<br /><br />However, it seemed that my time was not yet, for at this moment the fates intervened, or <span style="font-weight: bold;">God</span> chose to spare me, or <span style="font-weight: bold;">Lady Luck</span> fluttered her eyelashes, whatever you choose to believe. For suddenly another man passed-by, going about his business entirely unaware of my current situation. His sudden appearance took my two captors by surprise, and they both seemed to relax themselves, in an attempt to make it look less like they were about to stab me, and more like we were just hanging out together, having a lovely time.<br /><br />Suddenly, my brain stopped hurling expletives around my skull and threw out an order to the rest of my body.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">NOW!</span> It screeched. <span style="font-style: italic;">Move now! Don't wait for the passer-by to pass on by, so we can resume the business of getting stabbed. Just get the hell out of here.</span><br /><br />My legs happily obeyed, and I brushed past the guy with the blade, figuring that he'd be reluctant to do any stabbing in front of this passer-by. The blade-wielding bloke seemed surprised by my sudden movement, and tried to slow me with his elbow as I passed, but I was not stopping for anyone now. I was out of there.<br /><br />Bizarrely, I didn't run. I walked fast, of course, but I didn't take to my feet at full pelt, which seems odd when I look back on it. I just marched up the road, and didn't look back, not even when one of the guys yelled, "You were lucky," after me.<br /><br />I <span style="font-style: italic;">was </span>lucky. I already knew that.<br /><br />The full shock and horror of this night-time encounter didn't really sink in until after I had gotten back home, and even then it wasn't right away. No, the first thing I did when I got in was to go and make a cup of tea. Sadly, however, we were out of milk, so without even thinking I went back outside to go to the shop to get some more.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">What the fuck was I thinking? </span><br /><br />It was only when I returned from the shop, and sat down with a nice cuppa and a few cigarettes that the shock caught up with me. Panic and fear enveloped me, and one thought kept circling through my mind - what if that passer-by hadn't appeared?<br /><br />I was in quite a state, and I had no-one to talk to as the house was empty. So, I picked up the phone and called my dad, who listened as I blurted my story down the phone, stammering and blubbering in equal measure. I felt bad for burdening my parents with my woes at such a late hour, but I did manage to get most of the previously bottled-up emotions out, and began to regain something approaching some form of composure.<br /><br />My next duty was to telephone my place of work, and let them know of the incident so they called forewarn any of my colleagues who might be planning to go home that way. Then I phoned my housemate and warned him (who heeded my warning, despite being steaming drunk), and then I finally phoned the police, which proved to be a massive waste of time because they were 'too busy' to come and take a statement from me, but they told me that they hoped to drop by in the next couple of days.<br /><br />I'm still waiting to hear from them.<br /><br />So there you go. That is how I spent my week-end. How was yours?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-41828078495023044152008-05-16T04:30:00.000-07:002008-05-16T05:33:20.699-07:00I'm Bringing Carrots Back<span style="font-weight: bold;">While I take a break from the ball-crushing schedule of updating <a href="http://lordlikely.co.uk/">The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely</a>, I have begun work on a couple of new and newish projects.<br /><br /></span>The first is TOP SECRET and cannot be revealed yet, lest I jinx the whole enterprise and ruin it for ever. Not that I'm superstitious or anything. (Anyone have any four-leaf clovers or rabbit's feet on them?)<br /><br />The other is the return of my other, more family-friendly creation, <a href="http://www.thecarrottykid.co.uk/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Carrotty Kid</span></a>.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhdv8U8sQ_4xHuBgRJ3GvrVPiE5loxsGo1Gqc6JPvHuOtHdGutr9YfNd9GXtGafzNes8ECsHncDIeb6dkJaCYaUI7f0yEzPekViiRsavL98FZC3JlZHvLkqjsUrDxTzIr-yCw6OiRCC5Y/s1600-h/ckpaper3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhdv8U8sQ_4xHuBgRJ3GvrVPiE5loxsGo1Gqc6JPvHuOtHdGutr9YfNd9GXtGafzNes8ECsHncDIeb6dkJaCYaUI7f0yEzPekViiRsavL98FZC3JlZHvLkqjsUrDxTzIr-yCw6OiRCC5Y/s400/ckpaper3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5200946490318838738" border="0" /></a><br />I stopped updating The Carrotty Kid's site earlier this year, largely because I began to think that maybe I was actually no good at this cartooning lark, despite having doodled and scribbled for most of my life.<br /><br />However, I still draw the odd picture for <span style="font-weight: bold;">Lord Likely's</span> site, which I've enjoyed doing, and thanks to my <a href="http://digitalsickbag.blogspot.com/2008/04/ive-got-something-big-and-hard-in-my.html">recent assignment</a> of drawing comic strips for the <span style="font-weight: bold;">vue cinemas</span> newsletter, I've suddenly felt a resurgence of confidence in my (admittedly limited) abilities. Especially when I submitted the last vue comic, which I was particularly proud of, and which I've reproduced here for you to look at with your eyes:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifNawioOBZe1idm9fiA6NrqVU9Wx3bHQ9sSkwP6nZuE2yAaMtIvNQ1vVFBdvXQ98aDYraYKh0Qc3lB6Xucu2fuKXVO2FMWTZMER5jINjSDCKnhBatwN4cZUVLtPNyKHZb242bkLi6l5-8/s1600-h/batvue3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifNawioOBZe1idm9fiA6NrqVU9Wx3bHQ9sSkwP6nZuE2yAaMtIvNQ1vVFBdvXQ98aDYraYKh0Qc3lB6Xucu2fuKXVO2FMWTZMER5jINjSDCKnhBatwN4cZUVLtPNyKHZb242bkLi6l5-8/s400/batvue3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5200947937722817522" border="0" /></a>Haha! <span style="font-style: italic;">Oh, Batman!</span><br /><br />As well as rediscovering my artistic mojo (as it were), I've been reading a fair few webcomics which have all inspired me to pick up my pens again. Stuff like the ever-excellent <a href="http://www.dinoballs.com/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dinoballs</span></a>, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jamie Smart's</span> new venture <a href="http://www.bohdate.com/whubble/index.php"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Whubble</span></a> and the legendary <a href="http://www.beaverandsteve.com/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Beaver and Steve</span></a> have all given me the cartooning itch, which I am now determined to scratch. Scratch hard until it BLEEDS.<br /><br />Thus inspired and full of fire, I've decided that I am going to relaunch The Carrotty Kid's website next month. I love the little vegetable vigilante, as he was a creation I came up with as a kid and has been my most successful idea yet, earning me some paid work from the UK's finest animation studio, <a href="http://www.chf.co.uk/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Cosgrove Hall Films</span></a>, which in turn led to CK becoming the star of his own three-minute <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvwYTQgmYDg">pilot episode </a>which would have led to a full series, if only Children's ITV hadn't imploded in on itself. The swines.<br /><br />The new-look Carrotty Kid will be a bit different from before. I'm going to re-jig the character's design slightly, and I'm going to change the site's format a bit to prevent me (and the readers) from getting bored. Hopefully the end result will be one-hundred percent excellent, and nought percent rubbish.<br /><br />Of course, with me going back to cartooning, my other ventures may have to suffer slightly. Lord Likely will be dropping to a twice-weekly update schedule (from his current three posts a week), and my spoof showbiz site <a href="http://www.gaup.co.uk/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">gaup</span></a> may well be killed off altogether, unless anyone reading wants to pick up the baton and run with it.<br /><br />So there you go. Get ready for the return of everyone's favourite kung-fu carrot, coming to a monitor screen near you in <span style="font-weight: bold;">June 2008</span>. Go and visit the website <a href="http://www.thecarrottykid.co.uk/">now</a> to see a bit of teaser art, and an exciting countdown clock, counting down the days until CK's rebirth.<br /><br />It's so exciting, you might just PEE.<br /><br />In other news, please welcome back <span style="font-weight: bold;">Mike Whaite</span> to the internet. Mike was the guy responsible for pretty much all the animation in The Carrotty Kid's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvwYTQgmYDg">pilot episode</a> (which you should go and watch and remark on how excellent it is, by the way) and a guy with whom I seemed to click instantly. He's ridiculously talented and excellent, so check out his wondrous portfolio <a href="http://www.michaelwhaite.co.uk/">here</a> and fab little website <a href="http://www.popmash.com"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Popmash</span></a>. He good.<br /><br />And finally, keep checking <a href="http://lordlikely.co.uk/">Lord Likely's site</a>, to read some truly excellent guest posts from some fine guest writers. Everyone's done a tip-top job thus far, and I thank you all from the bottom of my trousers. Thank you.<br /><br />Right. That's it for now. I've got vegetables to draw. Tara!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-21677087617427140902008-05-14T17:50:00.000-07:002008-05-14T18:01:18.374-07:00What The Hell Am I Doing?<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hello, Sickbaggers!</span><br /><br />It's alright, I haven't died or anything. Or maybe I have, and maybe someone else has hacked into my <span style="font-weight: bold;">Blogger</span> account and is pretending to be me RIGHT NOW, while in actual fact I am buried in a garden somewhere, covered in ants.<br /><br />Or maybe I'm a ghost, writing this on my ghostly PC. Which would make me the very definition of a <span style="font-style: italic;">ghost writer</span>. Hahahaha!<br /><br />Seriously though, I'm not dead.<br /><br />I've been taking a bit of a break from blogging and inter-netting for a couple of weeks, just so that I can do other things like enjoy the sunshine, read books and throw pens at gypsies all day long. Just a few of my favourite things.<br /><br />So I apologise for my absence, and for not visiting you and your lovely web-logs, but I just wanted to step back for a bit and take a wee break. As in a small break, not just a break for weeing.<br /><br />Although, incidentally, I have been weeing during my wee break.<br /><br />Anyway, I'm jabbering now.<br /><br />I'll be back in a week or two, but in the meantime why not visit <a href="http://lordlikely.co.uk"><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely</span></a>, where a slew of top-notch guest writers are stepping up to the proverbial plate and knocking out some wonderfully excellent (and excellently wonderful) guest posts, while I sit around lounging around doing bugger all. It's a good life.<br /><br />Speak again soon!<br /><br />BYEEE!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-58485698391990094122008-05-02T02:20:00.000-07:002008-05-02T02:29:00.533-07:00Gremlins in the Works<span style="font-weight:bold;">Hello, there!</span><br /><br />Below is the best TV ad I have ever seen, featuring not only <span style="font-weight:bold;">Peter Jones</span> from off of <span style="font-weight:bold;">Dragons' Den</span> (a show I am rather to fond of), but also those pint-sized pests the <span style="font-weight:bold;">gremlins</span>, last seen on our screens in <span style="font-weight:bold;">Gremlins 2: The New Batch</span> back in 1990. It's an excellent advert, which made me smile and which makes me really want to see another Gremlins movie. NOW!<br /><br />Here be it:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/iA1iQm413No&hl=en&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/iA1iQm413No&hl=en&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object><br /><br />Talking of gremlins, my job has thrown a few gremlins into the works of late, hence no <span style="font-weight:bold;"><a href="http://lordlikely.co.uk">Lord Likely</a></span> update since Monday. I know, I'm rubbish, but hopefully his lordship will return over the week-end.<br /><br />See ya!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-83612051068951305092008-04-29T18:47:00.000-07:002008-04-29T19:17:47.037-07:00So Close, And Yet So Far<span style="font-weight: bold;">Those of you who follow the fate and fortunes of the publishing industry may already know that The Friday Project - a small publisher set up in 2005 with the aim of converting the best of the web to proper books - went into liquidation <a href="http://www.thebookseller.com/news/56579-friday-project-owes-18m.html">last month.</a></span><br /><br />What you probably won't know is that last <span style="font-weight: bold;">December</span> I had quite a jolly meeting with the (entirely lovely and very amiable) folk at <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Friday Project</span>, with a view to publishing a proper, fully-fledged <a href="http://lordlikely.co.uk"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Lord Likely</span></a> book. With pages and a cover, and everything.<br /><br />The meeting went very well, so this news is doubly sad, as it means the end of what could have been the Greatest Literary Event of All Time. But hey ho, such is life.<br /><br />I'm making quite a habit of getting tantalisingly close to having my work published or screened. As well as the Lord Likely book, I also managed to get very near to getting an animated series made based around another of my characters, <a href="http://www.thecarrottykid.co.uk"><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Carrotty Kid</span></a>. I got all the way up to the pilot episode stage, before the UK kid's TV market seemed to implode in on itself, and the series never came to pass.<br /><br />Still, I got a shiny DVD out of it, containing an exciting glimpse of what could have been:<br /><br /><center><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/nvwYTQgmYDg&hl=en&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/nvwYTQgmYDg&hl=en&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object></center><br /><br />So, I'm still struggling on, and still hoping that one day one of my ridiculous ideas will finally earn me some money.<br /><br />Now, can anyone spare me a tenner?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-83283868769339863542008-04-22T10:17:00.000-07:002008-04-22T12:20:28.636-07:00Dreadlock Holiday<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hey! Guess what! No, not that. Or that. No, not that, either. I'll have to tell you - I'm on holiday! Yippee!<br /><br /></span>Of course, being a 'struggling artist' (read: penniless hobo), I can't afford to go anywhere sunny and nice, but hey - at least I'm not at work. Huzzah!<br /><br />Instead, I am spending some time with my parents, my sister and their pets, back home in <span style="font-weight: bold;">Ringwood</span>. Ringwood is a little market town on the outskirts of the <span style="font-weight: bold;">New Forest</span>, in the South of <span style="font-weight: bold;">England</span>, and is famous for three things:<br /><br />1. It has a brewery.<br />2. It was used for location filming for the BBC sitcom <span style="font-style: italic;">The Brittas Empire</span>.<br />3. The 1st <span style="font-weight: bold;">Duke of Monmouth</span> was held in the town in 1685, before being executed.<br /><br />There's not a great deal to do in the town, to be honest, but its nice enough to return to once in a while, to escape city life for a bit.<br /><br />So, in the absence of anything else to do, I have been taking snaps of things with my digital camera.<br /><br />Therefore, it's now...HOLIDAY PHOTO TIME! (Try not to snore too loudly).<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimtllSa62TQuP-dAU2xBkjBiIK2bkK7vRpngNcqx6ny2a0u-DJzg016iRgFncioJwmAXYALOGwHUvvNnyIbc2pPTd3A178ObZtJ1ByXKWjUQgPM1BM_Ez_NHUyqlRk3V5ne0xXcQQaqvo/s1600-h/meandsid3.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimtllSa62TQuP-dAU2xBkjBiIK2bkK7vRpngNcqx6ny2a0u-DJzg016iRgFncioJwmAXYALOGwHUvvNnyIbc2pPTd3A178ObZtJ1ByXKWjUQgPM1BM_Ez_NHUyqlRk3V5ne0xXcQQaqvo/s320/meandsid3.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192122994699686914" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Me and my parents' frankly excellent cat, Sid. Look at his cute face!<br />And the cat's. Hahahahaha! Oh my!</span><br /></span></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHxltpqv_hMO1CBbw1aEQAhzNpTS4rXvBLzqp7OlWa2Ks-KC1Kbh6n6F15IQJp20ubi2PsDyrKsFZ6FiI06w6b1opEwPkDpfnSedVI32qOsdviiS0LgD-M0mfJhDD33hh_8YV-MJIEbpc/s1600-h/ringoface.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHxltpqv_hMO1CBbw1aEQAhzNpTS4rXvBLzqp7OlWa2Ks-KC1Kbh6n6F15IQJp20ubi2PsDyrKsFZ6FiI06w6b1opEwPkDpfnSedVI32qOsdviiS0LgD-M0mfJhDD33hh_8YV-MJIEbpc/s320/ringoface.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192123385541710866" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">The family dog, Ringo. The stupidest thing on four legs.<br /><br /></span></span></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqUHdup9ZVz0hfPJBzDb4VBhNsye58IQSNHRsiv6Jxklsp7Bj3jG61IZpNeTSUYCHXgDGulhkQm85_aKqEKN9ddQs6eXAnjaKYyB7KaL4X3JmnP_yJiCYrNDEVpZZauCubyb_yCfNrJsE/s1600-h/bigdeal2.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqUHdup9ZVz0hfPJBzDb4VBhNsye58IQSNHRsiv6Jxklsp7Bj3jG61IZpNeTSUYCHXgDGulhkQm85_aKqEKN9ddQs6eXAnjaKYyB7KaL4X3JmnP_yJiCYrNDEVpZZauCubyb_yCfNrJsE/s320/bigdeal2.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192124119981118546" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Me in my 'I'm Kind of a Big Deal' t-shirt which I won via <a href="http://www.fuelmyblog.com/">Fuel My Blog</a>.<br />I've been meaning to snap myself in it for a while now,<br />and finally - FINALLY - I have gotten round to it. Hooray!<br /><br /><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhfEuoavYBgSmy5vFVZMjHRCAA-1N66vCOvx7P-F2dSVMGkVSKdxGpMCq5aE5M9VAjw2upFKn2-WWWE27uZRnQWn9JrX76RjQ8zHOfTIa_PSCuerabiMnnkGytOuK8b5NTKhXvUn9zpSc/s1600-h/ringolie.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhfEuoavYBgSmy5vFVZMjHRCAA-1N66vCOvx7P-F2dSVMGkVSKdxGpMCq5aE5M9VAjw2upFKn2-WWWE27uZRnQWn9JrX76RjQ8zHOfTIa_PSCuerabiMnnkGytOuK8b5NTKhXvUn9zpSc/s320/ringolie.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192123827923342370" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">That darn dog again.<br /><br /></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEictnPIewh70qL0y55hpLFMF11PWiS9gEfJqGMXgAtT3AfiDBD9h8TtA9C5vJIkGLDzL35iCHpILTWcPd4vA0ehaK7g3bx0o0P1320iKQe611il-RQnYZ_BjJGacbRBjqgY5zLXZOxPQ6o/s1600-h/sidclose.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEictnPIewh70qL0y55hpLFMF11PWiS9gEfJqGMXgAtT3AfiDBD9h8TtA9C5vJIkGLDzL35iCHpILTWcPd4vA0ehaK7g3bx0o0P1320iKQe611il-RQnYZ_BjJGacbRBjqgY5zLXZOxPQ6o/s320/sidclose.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192147832495559794" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">And there's the cat again. Note his unamused face. He is less of a <span style="font-weight: bold;">LolCat</span>, and more of a <span style="font-weight: bold;">FuckYouCat</span>.</span></span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZwa_Wb9pSLJYeg7D5swcBhQ1v3DUDakiOU7Luid-sguCQl-eAubHpWKA5PIl9A-fjtEPWGkVK2ABlr25wFRXpLEfH8ack9KRV-5JF3-H7FKywYvZB6aQXg8imhlZWDlLu2KDXY1BX6_I/s1600-h/ringoupdown.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZwa_Wb9pSLJYeg7D5swcBhQ1v3DUDakiOU7Luid-sguCQl-eAubHpWKA5PIl9A-fjtEPWGkVK2ABlr25wFRXpLEfH8ack9KRV-5JF3-H7FKywYvZB6aQXg8imhlZWDlLu2KDXY1BX6_I/s320/ringoupdown.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192149958504371362" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Ringo, meanwhile, auditions to be a <a href="http://digitalsickbag.blogspot.com/2008/03/ripdogs.html"><span style="font-weight: bold;">RipDog</span></a>.<br /><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6CbvmgWCC8Yjnt47VYqMant26fJfN-Y4t3steFCA49ZOJux5nhCOCBoXskv9jJj71WRwIWuLYaN2qGLvoW5sz_duGD1u270VpHaGKIYRuuLazGzhhdgp5f7PcIIi8nVKO4Vulxw7DHwQ/s1600-h/likelyblog.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6CbvmgWCC8Yjnt47VYqMant26fJfN-Y4t3steFCA49ZOJux5nhCOCBoXskv9jJj71WRwIWuLYaN2qGLvoW5sz_duGD1u270VpHaGKIYRuuLazGzhhdgp5f7PcIIi8nVKO4Vulxw7DHwQ/s320/likelyblog.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192124192995562594" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Even when on holiday, I'm still hard at work on <a href="http://lordlikely.co.uk/"><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely</span></a>. I just never stop - and it's all for YOU.<br /><br /></span></span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNI1oJIFm3Cip-48ObseQpZaSv-PhThemE7TJrt-GkQBeqi92clC6YgTHJovFwD1h1NxEVHXc-gqYqFuZ4QRpxB0prS80C_kYQ1mkWX2KoewKaQf83918CxLnWfu42cbTIGbZNDh_czeU/s1600-h/meyeah.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNI1oJIFm3Cip-48ObseQpZaSv-PhThemE7TJrt-GkQBeqi92clC6YgTHJovFwD1h1NxEVHXc-gqYqFuZ4QRpxB0prS80C_kYQ1mkWX2KoewKaQf83918CxLnWfu42cbTIGbZNDh_czeU/s320/meyeah.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5192150572684694706" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Finally, big hugs to you all. Awwww. How sweet.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(PS: I have my nob out, just out of shot).</span><br /></span><br /><div style="text-align: left;">So there you go.<br /><br />Tomorrow, I might go and take some pictures of some crows or something. Or possibly my ball-bag.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.<br /><br /></span></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5060030450584031108.post-496882761778845332008-04-17T18:44:00.000-07:002008-04-17T18:52:09.775-07:00The Funniest Line in Movie History<object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kvs4bOMv5Xw&hl=en&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kvs4bOMv5Xw&hl=en&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />It just is. DON'T ARGUE.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Taken from <span style="font-weight: bold;">Carry On Cleo</span> (1964).</span><br /><br />I'm still alive, too. HUZZAH! More stuff...SOON.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">- Fanton.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com15