News reaches the Sickbag that the twenty-second James Bond movie finally has a title - Quantum of Solace.
As far as tantalising, kick-ass titles go, it's a bit underwhelming, really. It sounds more like a student's science project, or a dull academic book rather than an all-action blockbuster about a super-cool spy.
Then again, Bond titles have a history of being a bit rubbish. For every snappily-titled Goldeneye or Licence to Kill, there's a Tomorrow Never Dies or The World is Not Enough.
So, to help out the Bond producers in naming any future Bond flicks, I've compiled a list of titles that they can use if they want. For ONE HUNDRED MILLION POUNDS EACH. Bargain!
Here we go:
- The James Bond Film
- Casino Royale 2: Casino Royaler
- James Bond vs Aliens vs Predator
- A Licence to Drive
- The Man With The Golden Everything
- The Periodic Table of Death
- Tomorrow is the Day After Today
- James Bond and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
- Secret Agent Punch Up
- Mince Spy
- James Bond Fights Everyone
- Bronze-tits
- The Bond Identity
- The Man With A PhD In Advanced Physics
- BOOOOM!
- James Bond - He's A Super Cool Spy, Man!
- Fighting and Spying And Fucking
- Dodecahedron Eyes
- James Bond Goes To Smuggler's Cove
- James Bond!
- Double Oh Ohhhhhhh
- The Spy Who Will Fuck You Up
- The Man With The Itchy Scrote
- The Pluto Dichotomy
- Big Fat Balls Slapping Against Her Arse
- Something About Killing and Dying
- I Can See Yooooou!
- James Bond Loses His Keys
- Christ, Not Another Fat Lunatic Trying To Take Over the World
- A View To Retirement
- Licence To Print Money
- Never Kill A Doctor With A Licence To Live Another Golden Day Twice
- James Bond Kicks A Bloke
- Shaken, But Not Shaken Too Much
- Things Explode
- James Bond's Super Spying Adventure Time
- PACHOW! ZAP! BLAMMO!
- Look At My Shorts
- James Bond meets James Bond, James Bond, James Bond, James Bond and James Bond.
- Knock Knock, Who's There?
- February the 23rd Always Comes
- There's This Bit, Yeah, Where James Bond Leaps From A Helicopter And Lands In A Tank And Punches This Guy In The Face And Drives Off And Flattens A Limousine It's Fuckin' Well Rad
- Licence To Serve Liquor
- Never Say Not Never Never Again Never
- Liquid Pants
- The Man With The Lady's Face
- Donkey Puncher
- Is That A Gun In Your Pocket Or Your Hardened Cock?
- James Bond Wins At The End
I'm sure you'll agree, they're all BRILLIANT ideas. Hollywood, here I come!
- Fanton.
